IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Students should have physical activity as a compulsory subject at school on a regular basis. Why is it beneficial for students to participate in physical activity? Which sports do you think are the safest physical activity?

#students #activity #school #basis #sports
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Nowadays, some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that physical
activity
 should be a mandatory part of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum and students must practice it on a regular basis. In
this
 essay, I will explain the importance of physical
activityand
Correct your spelling
activity and
 show the positive impact on our students. The
researches
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research
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 results gave strong
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 for the
relation
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relationship
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 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
activity
 with the growth and development, which will be maintained by improving their physical
activity
 during the school period.
This
 can be seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the body shape and strength
as a result
 of
practicing
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practising
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and physical activities.
In addition
, their social skills and communication ability will be enhanced.
On the other hand
,
thestudents
Correct your spelling
the students
 who do not
practicing
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practice
show examples
 and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 involved in
a
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apply
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physical
activity
, their health and growth will be affected
while
 they are growing up. Each physical
activity
 has its own rules that must
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be known to select the kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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activity
 with safety precautions.
The competitive
Correct article usage
Competitive
show examples
 sports
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 younger ages will improve their social skills and
communications
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communication
show examples
.
Then
, the self-
activity
 that helps to build his or her own personality that enables them to observe and measure the level of development. So, we will give attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the physical
activity
 and the kinds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities we choose in
this
 critical period. In conclusion, the importance of these activities might make a huge difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our student’s life. In my opinion, the positive impact
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 process
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 well-known and must be encouraged to be a basic part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 student’s life.
Submitted by haderabouslema93 on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasons why physical activity is beneficial. Provide specific examples and details to support your points.
clarity
Ensure clarity and readability by avoiding long, complex sentences. Break them down into shorter, more manageable sentences.
language usage
Proofread your essay to eliminate grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance: 'The researches results gave strong evidences' should be 'Research results provide strong evidence'.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
content
The writer recognizes a variety of benefits to physical activity, including physical growth, social skills, and personal development.
critical thinking
The importance of safety and choice in physical activity is acknowledged, showing an understanding of the issue's complexities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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