The graph below shows the proprotion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2024 in three different countries.

#proprotion #population #three #countries

The illustration presents the

porportion

Correct your spelling

proportion

of the

population

aged 65 and over from 1940 and the estimation for 2040 in three different countries.

Overall

, every country has an increasing rate of elderly people every year. The percentages at the beginning and end

Add a missing verb

are no

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more than 25 years apart. Each country's percentage increase

repidly

Correct your spelling

rapidly

in the 2030s. From 1940 to 1980, the

USA

and

Sweden

had a significant increase rate of elderly people, accounting for 10 to 15

percent

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per cent

show examples

and 8 to 14

percent

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per cent

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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order. In 2000, the

USA

percentage

has been

Wrong verb form

was

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stable

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show examples

2020, and

rise

Wrong verb form

rose

show examples

up to 23

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2040. In 2000,

Sweden

Change noun form

Sweden's

show examples

elderly

population

remains relatively high but stable, slightly above the

USA

. In 2020, the

population

begins to increase more noticeably,

refecting

Correct your spelling

reflecting

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population

. In 2040,

Sweden

's elderly

population

countries to

rise

, though at a slower pace compared to

Japan

, indicating ongoing demographic

aging

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ageing

show examples

but not as rapidly as in

japan

Capitalize word

Japan

show examples

. In 2000,

Japan

experiences

Wrong verb form

experienced

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a significant

rise

supassing

Correct your spelling

surpassing

both

Sweden

and the

USA

where the

population

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

relatively stable. In 2020,

Japan

Change noun form

Japan's

show examples

elderly

percent

Replace the word

percentage

show examples

rise

Wrong verb form

rose

show examples

up stable and overtake the

USA

and

Sweden

in 2040.

Submitted by dondollaraus on Sun Sep 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, usa, sweden, percent, rise, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

192 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the proprotion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2024 in three different countries.

Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in cities.what are the reasons? Do advantages of their developmenth outweigt it's disadvantages

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.