The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, personal success is determined by many factors. Education is limited to academic pursuits and
do
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does
show examples
not
teaches
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teach
show examples
learners
with
Change preposition
apply
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the valuable
skills
necessary to be successful.
This
essay agrees that students should carry out social services or work experiences alongside their studies to
intake
Verb problem
acquire
show examples
valuable
qualieties
Correct your spelling
qualities
and
skills
.
Firstly
, employers are looking for soft
skills
rather than academic qualifications. Many graduates have a similar high grade
at the end
of their courses, so what let their job application stand out are qualities
as
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such as
show examples
resilience and empathy. Many young
people
in developed countries
for
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, for
show examples
example,
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
volunteering
Replace the word
volunteer
show examples
or
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
social services in their free time to support
disadvantages
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disadvantaged
show examples
people
,
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
the meaning of sacrifice and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
appreciate more what they have.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
extra-curriculum
Correct your spelling
extra-curricular
show examples
experience can enrich
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
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important
skills
to be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Secondly
, working experience can help
people
to develop fundamental
skills
to reach fame. Good communication
skills
are essential to communicate clearly and effectively with
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
and clients, developing ideas and addressing concerns. In customer service jobs
for
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, for
show examples
example, good communication
skills
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a worthwhile tool for
increase
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increasing
show examples
clients' fidelity. Leadership is another valuable skill that
enable
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enables
show examples
the individual to work collaboratively with others, delegate tasks and drive the team towards success.
Thus
it
become
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becomes
show examples
apparent that
skills
and qualities required to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
successful cannot be learned at school. In conclusion, successful
people
are compound with academic knowledge, qualities and
skills
.
Althoungh
Correct your spelling
Although
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
education institutions provide young
people
with them, the other requirements necessary need to be learned outside classrooms.
Therefore
, I
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
that volunteering and job experiences can enrich individuals,
guidind
Correct your spelling
guiding
them towards success.
Submitted by veronicabello on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing. Ensure subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage throughout the essay. For example: 'Education is limited to academic pursuits and do not teaches learners...' is incorrect. Consider: 'and does not teach learners...'.
content
Clarify your main ideas by elaborating on your points with more specific examples or explanations. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence
Ensure consistent use of connectors and linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Examples like 'Therefore' and 'Thus' help, but should be used consistently and appropriately.
task response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing the relevance of both academic and non-academic skills for success.
structure
A clear introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, making the main argument easy to understand.
content
The essay includes relevant examples, such as volunteering and work experience, to support the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Adaptability
  • Resilience
  • Networking
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Creative thinking
  • Innovation
  • Self-learning
  • Continuous improvement
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Empathy
  • Traditional academic settings
  • Academic curricula
  • Structured nature
  • Lifelong learning
  • Rapidly changing industries
  • Leadership
  • Teamwork
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