Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#parents #pressure #children #development

Mothers and fathers want their

children

to succeed so they they put much

pressure

on them.

Moreover

this

trend is caused by many reasons. In my opinion, I think

this

is a positive development. There are plenty of aspects that lead to

this

phenomenon.

First,

every parent wants their

children

to succeed and they want their

children

's studies to be simple, so students' graduation will be easier so that they can get good jobs.

Second,

parents

want to earn respect from other people. It can be seen that, if

children

succeed, their

parents

will be admired.

Parents

want their

children

to finish their dreams.

For example

, mothers and fathers can not become pianists so they hope their

children

to continue their unfinished dream.

Children

will be motivated by putting a lot of

pressure

because they need to succeed to satisfy their

parents

' expectations. Putting

pressure

can train

children

's personalities because it can encourage

children

to try harder and be more responsible to complete their goals. In conclusion, mothers and fathers want their

children

to reach the targets so they put

pressure

on them.

Besides

this

tendency is raised for tons of reasons. I think it is an advantageous development.

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Sun Sep 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task but would benefit from adding further specifics and depth, particularly in the supporting points.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical structure overall, adding a few more linking phrases and transitions between ideas could enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples and perhaps a counterargument to offer a balanced viewpoint, which would enhance the argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well developed with relevant examples and analyses to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic, which provides a good frame for the essay.

task achievement

The essay generally stays on topic and provides reasons and some examples, which demonstrates a decent understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?