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Band 7.5

te personat for cople to take risks, both in their professional lives and Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#te #personat #cople #risks #lives
Facing the risk is essential to humans, whether it is a personal matter or it is a
life
 career, I believe its benefits outweigh the negatives because it gives the
person
 more courage and confidence and it can be the turning point to a better
life
.
To begin
 with, when it comes to high self-esteem and being a brave
person
 it demands being on the edge of something and deciding to face the difficulty; because sometimes it is better than the easier option especially if we are talking about a long-term decision, to be more specific when an obese
person
 decides to lose fat and become fit he/she have to be committed to go every day to the gym without complaining about any circumstances,
this
 is the harder option and if the
person
 sticks to the plan here it comes the confidence and the better outcomes which is in
this
 case the healthier and good looking body.
Moreover
, it can turn someone’s
life
 upside down in a positive way if he decides to put himself on the challenging path, not always but most of the time it requires being in a challenge to change our
life
 into a better one,
for example
, if someone is good at stocks and had learned enough about it, it is now the time to take the risk and buy that deal which might pay him off thousands of dollars.
To sum up
,
life
 might require being a solid
person
 and being able to face different situations with various levels of risk.
Submitted by tasneematrash3001 on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main points and properly introduces the topic without ambiguity. Additionally, your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position.
logical structure
Use transitional words and phrases to link your ideas more clearly from one paragraph to the next. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You presented a clear argument stating that taking risks has more advantages than disadvantages. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.
supported main points
Examples are very relevant and effectively illustrate your points, like the example of an obese person committing to the gym.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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