IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
In
this
 contemporary era, benefits of the
globalization
 are widely debated by the sceptics. Many
people
 believe that
globalization
 has positive impacts on life.
However
, many
people
 criticize
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 advantages, and
this
 mindset impedes the progression of the developments. I concur with the perspective that
globalization
 has brought
people
 closer and has aided in spreading love and harmony among and across nations.
To begin
 with, technology has played an intrinsic role in
globalization
. It has made the world a global village where
people
 can interact and communicate freely through apps
such
 as WhatsApp and Instagram.
Conversely
, in earlier times, the mode of communication was sending letters to each other and
this
 would take months.
However
, now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are one click away and can see each other through video calls.
In addition
, with the help of expeditious technology,
people
 can contact their acquittances in no time. But,
people
 who stand against
this
 view are unhappy with the advancements taking place. Another reason how
globalization
 has benefitted humanity is by bringing the nations together.
For example
, Broadcasting of sports
such
 as Cricket and Football brings the masses together and develops love and respect.
Furthermore
, it helps individuals to learn and become cognizant about the cultures, history and civilizations, which fosters closeness. Not just
this
 it has encouraged businesses to grow and develop. The populace from anywhere around the globe can apply for their dream jobs because it has become easier and more efficient, as everything has been shifted online.
Moreover
, these jobs bring individuals closer and create a multicultural environment for the companies and the employees to grow and flourish.
To conclude
,
globalization
 has an indispensable role in our lives, as it is engrossed in our daily routines. It is imperative to know that the advantages provided by
globalization
 outweigh the disadvantages and it is significant that
people
 adopt the change rather than criticize it
Submitted by uroojzulqernain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To score higher, consider including more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your points more concrete and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate clear topic sentences for each body paragraph to enhance the logical structure of your essay. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-introduced and concluded, giving it a clear framework.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: