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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some sceientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. while some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sceientists #future #computers #beings #see #development #consequences
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In the modern world, artificial
intelligence
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 is increasing rapidly. The conclusion of the scientists is that
computers
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 will be as intelligent as humans. Some argue that constantly increasing
intelligence
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 is displacing people in a negative way.
On the other hand
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, some believe
computers
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 increasing
intelligence
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 will help us with decision-making,
thus
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 being a positive thing. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to the development of artificial
intelligence
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. The increase in artificial
intelligence
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 brings benefits for both individuals and
society
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. For workers themselves, the most obvious benefit is that they can reduce working hours
while
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, at the same time earning the same amount of money.
Computers
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 will do that for you.
Due to
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this
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, increased free time can be used in your favour,
for example
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, by spending time with your loved ones. A third point of favour
,
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apply
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 is that artificial
intelligence
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 can be used in solving difficult problems
such
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 as climate change or waste management. Among the drawbacks, diminishing the jobs of employees could lead to anxiety because people are very work-oriented. There is
also
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 a danger that worker´s skills and abilities will reduce radically
due to
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 the artificial
intelligence
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 of
computers
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, which could be a risk to
society
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also
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.
However
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, keeping
this
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 in mind and constantly maintaining information should reduce the risk. People are happier and living longer than ever before.
Although
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 there are downsides to
this
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 trend, I believe that they are outweighed by the advantages to both the individual and
society
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. In my opinion,
society
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 should invest in artificial
intelligence
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 in the future as well.
Submitted by paronen91 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, include more specific examples that support your main points. This could make your arguments more convincing and help illustrate your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed comprehensively. Adding more detailed arguments and counterarguments would enhance the depth of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Use a more varied range of cohesive devices to link your ideas smoothly. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay and make it easier to read.
coherence cohesion
You may improve the logical structure by organizing the arguments and counterarguments in separate paragraphs. This makes it easier to follow the progression of your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Your writing shows a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of artificial intelligence, which makes your opinion more credible.
task achievement
The main points presented are relevant to the topic, providing a decent foundation for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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