Many people say that universities should only be offered to young students with high marks,others say that they should accept people of all ages,even if they did not do well.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #universities #students #marks #ages

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Whilst many

people

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think that only young talented students can attend universities, I believe that

people

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of all ages and talents should have

this

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opportunity to go to university to

study

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. On the one hand, a

student

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who attends a major in university is a burden to the

government

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, and the

government

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should spend some considerable money on any

student

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. So, governments, which have limited resources, should invest money in a profitable

student

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. with some rational thinking, you can say a young

student

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with high marks are potentially good choice for their authority and only they should be in an educational institution.

For instance

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last

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year our

government

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put a huge budget for universities to train future professionals, so, that investment should be back to them in the future with some profit

that is

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advanced in any aspects of knowledge in our country.

However

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, every individual should have the chance to reach their potential and personal growth,

therefore

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, nobody does not have the right to prevent others from their rights. The right to

study

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freely is one of the main rights of humans, but if the

government

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choose only young

people

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study

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, they take others' rights. In my opinion, by giving

this

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opportunity to everyone, governments can invest better for the future because maybe some older

people

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have more talent than younger ones.

For example

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, in our country, the

government

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have started teaching old

people

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in the

last

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decades and it brings some light to our community. In conclusion, despite the fact that allowing every individual to

study

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at university our education system may cost more money, it gives everyone particularly old

people

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a new chance to start again and gain knowledge.

Submitted by mehdikarimi0811 on Thu May 02 2024

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Introduction enhancement

Try to begin your essay with a more engaging introduction, perhaps by including a general statement about the importance of education before introducing the debate.

Coherence improvement

To improve coherence, ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the other. Using linking words effectively can help create a smoother transition between paragraphs.

Balancing discussion and opinion

In terms of task achievement, make sure to discuss both views equally and thoroughly before giving your own opinion. Your own opinion should be clearly differentiated and supported with reasons.

Vocabulary and sentence complexity

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance your writing style and make your argument more compelling.

Task understanding

Your essay addresses the prompt with a clear stance, showing good understanding of the task.

Use of examples

You provided examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Effective conclusion

The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your viewpoint.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?