IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows information about calorie consumption in seven countries in 1975 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about calorie consumption in seven countries in 1975 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the average
of
Change preposition
apply
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calorie
Use synonyms
 consumption in seven countries including
United
Correct article usage
the United
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States
Use synonyms
, India, New Zealand, Somalia, China, Spain and Indonesia, in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the United
States
Use synonyms
 has the highest average
calorie
Use synonyms
 consumption,
while
Linking Words
 Indonesia, which had less than half the average
calorie
Use synonyms
take
Correct your spelling
intake
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 of the United
States
Use synonyms
 and New Zealand, had the lowest average
calorie
Use synonyms
 consumption of all eight countries. We can
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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 the United
States
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, consuming nearly 3400 calories, had the highest average, and just after that, New Zealand was in second place by 3300 calories
while
Linking Words
 The other six countries were consuming significantly fewer calories.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words calorie, states with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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