It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?

#movie #television #computer #ticket #cinema #future #popularity #cinemas #decline

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Nowadays, many

people

are now preferring to enjoy a

movie

in the comfort of their homes

instead

of going to the

movie

house. I believe that the future of cinemas will soon dramatically decrease as there are more comfortable ways which are

cost efficient

Add a hyphen

cost-efficient

show examples

To begin

with, a lot of

people

now prefer to watch movies on their television at home as it is more comfortable and free. The

movie

house environment can be a bit strict and there is no freedom to do what you feel like doing with the fear of distracting others.

For example

, you can not sit with your legs on top of another seat as other

people

will be sitting there and you are not allowed to talk as it is disturbing. Moreso, at

home

Add a comma

home,

show examples

people

can choose the type of

movie

they want to watch and in

cinemas

Add a comma

cinemas,

show examples

you have to watch what they have selected for you which is not fair for everyone.

Secondly

, there are more streaming sites rising which are very cheap and

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

of them you do not have to pay anything provided you have the

internent

Correct your spelling

internet

Movie

sites

such

Netfflix

Correct your spelling

Netflix

and Prime

video

Capitalize word

Video

show examples

provide very good quality HD movies and

people

can enjoy

with

Correct pronoun usage

them with

show examples

their families with only one subscription.

In addition

, there are sites like

goojara

Change the capitalization

Goojara

show examples

and sometimes Youtube which can provide free movies and

people

can make some

popcorns

Fix the agreement mistake

popcorn

show examples

and other snacks and enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

the comfort of their homes. In conclusion, I totally agree that the popularity of cinemas will decline in the future as there are more affordable ways which are very comfortable and the majority of

people

are choosing those options.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Sun Sep 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Support your points with more specific and diverse examples. This will not only demonstrate critical thinking but also strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Expand your ideas more comprehensively. Developing more nuanced arguments will increase the clarity of your essay.

grammar

Double-check for small grammar and spelling errors. For example, ‘Netfflix’ should be ‘Netflix’ and ‘internent’ should be ‘internet'. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which provide a strong framework for the essay.

task achievement

You have provided valid points on the advantages of watching movies at home and the potential decline in cinema popularity, addressing the essay prompt well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Ordinary people copy famous people whome they see on TV and magazines. Do you think this is a positive development?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What can be done to solve this problem?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?