Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
there is a debate over whether individuals are becoming more independent
on
each other Change preposition
of
on
modern society, with some Change preposition
in
people
saying that dependence on each other is more beneficial. in my opinion, people
will always dependent
on each other Add a missing verb
be dependent
with
emotionally and physically during their lifetime because it is the rule of nature.
many Change preposition
apply
people
think that depence
on Correct your spelling
dependence
depend
defence
others
are
inevitable. Change the verb form
is
in other words
, not everyone perfect
at doing Add a missing verb
is perfect
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
sp
they might need the help of Correct your spelling
so
others
to complete their work fully. for examle
, in my Correct your spelling
example
country
few Add a comma
country,
people
are dependent on house helpers for daily chores such
as cleaning house
and Add an article
the house
take
care baby, and no one can Wrong verb form
taking
image
a life without them. Replace the word
imagine
this
will not only help our life but also
makes
them successful in their future because they are able to concentrate Correct subject-verb agreement
make
to
work.
Change preposition
on
However
, I beleive
that independence Correct your spelling
believe
on
each other has more sustainable benefits. Change preposition
from
people
feel more comfortable when they alone
and do not depend on Add a missing verb
are alone
others
for their household works
. to be more specific, whether it is Fix the agreement mistake
work
cleaning
of Add an article
the cleaning
home
or fixing Add an article
a home
of
furniture, everything Change preposition
apply
being
done by the person. Change the form of the verb
is
for instance
, most people
in my country are self dependent
and they do not rely on Add a hyphen
self-dependent
others
help. Change noun form
others'
other's
therefore
, they are multi-talanted
Correct your spelling
multi-talented
people
and can fix their problrms
with ease.
in conclusion, Correct your spelling
problems
this
will always remain a debate
issue. Change the verb form
debated
i
will stick to my opinion that being depending on Change the capitalization
I
others
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
reasonable towards each other because it will help them productively.Submitted by elbayevazamat on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating the two perspectives before giving your opinion. This will provide a clearer framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better by starting with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point of the paragraph. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Support your viewpoints with more specific, relevant examples and elaborate on them. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Work on grammar, sentence structure, and word choice. This will help in conveying clear and precise ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have managed to present both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion that summarizes your stance, which helps in rounding off the essay well.