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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

#friend #children #house #weekend #arrangement #time
Dear Maninder, I hope
this
 letter finds you in the best of spirits and radiant health. I writing
this
 letter to let you know that I am ready to babysit your wards for
this
 weekend and I would love to spend some quality time with them. You can drop
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
 at my place on Saturday evening after 8PM, as I will be home by that time. I have a few plans that will help young ones to enjoy their stay with me.
Firstly
, I am planning to watch a movie named The Karate Kid because
this
 movie has a very motivating
story line
Correct your spelling
storyline
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for kids.
Secondly
, on Sunday morning, I will take them for a Trek in the suburbs near the city,
there
Correct your spelling
where
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 they can witness wild birds in their natural habitat.
Lastly
, in the evening I will take them to the local museum that has many things of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Ancient
history
Replace the word
historical
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 monuments and light and sound
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
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 on India's independence struggle. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 I will drive them back to you. I hope you will like my plans and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours lovingly, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, but adding a sentence to explain why the Saturday evening timing works best for you would enhance clarity.
task achievement
While your ideas are clearly conveyed, consider using a broader range of vocabulary to make your letter more engaging.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task comprehensively.
task achievement
Your writing tone is warm and friendly, which is appropriate for this context.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making your letter easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your greetings and closing are appropriately used, providing a pleasant flow to your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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