Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
animals
such
as giant turtle
have now totally disappeared. Fix the agreement mistake
turtles
Therefore
, many people consider that this
should not happened
in the future. I strongly agree with Change the verb form
happen
this
notion because we can prevent further
hunting and killing of animals
as well as
protect their habitat so that they can be safe around us on the planet for
Change preposition
in
long
run.
These days poaching is very popular whether it be for entertainment purposes or for earning wealth. There were large numbers of Add an article
the long
one horned
rhinoceros in plain areas of Nepal, roaming freely in various areas of forests.Gradually their number started to lessen because people started to hunt them illegally and transported them out of the Nation. Not only in the earlier days but Add a hyphen
one-horned
also
now, illegal hunting is still prevalent and this
species have
become rare. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Therefore
, we might also
lose them if public awareness is not raised on time. This
one horned
rhinoceros is just an example. Add a hyphen
one-horned
Besides
them, there are various other animals
which are on the verge of extinction like red panda, Bengali tiger, snow leopard, cheetah, African wild dog and so on. In order to save them , strong rules and regulations should be implemented.
Moreover
, they play vital
role Add an article
a vital
to create
balance on Earth. Forests are their home and protecting them means protecting forests. If the number of Change preposition
in creating
animals
and birds keep
on disappearing Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
then
eventually the forest areas will also
be gone. This
will jeopardize balance
of biodiversity and lead to various bad consequences Add an article
the balance
such
as global warming and climate change. The Earth may turn
into an unfavourable place to live. Therefore
, now is the perfect time that
Change preposition
to
we
become wise and preserve various wild species.
In conclusion, hunting and poaching and various other human activities like cutting down trees should be stopped immediately to prevent Correct pronoun usage
apply
animals'
extinction so that we do not have to suffer in the future.Change noun form
animals
Submitted by raialon4047 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with an introduction and provides a clear position on the topic. However, it could benefit from a more elaborated introduction that outlines the key points to be discussed.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical and ideas are presented coherently. You may want to use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
supported main points
Main points are supported with relevant examples, although some parts could be elaborated further to add more depth and clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
To strengthen your task achievement, try to develop your ideas more comprehensively, providing more details and depth in your arguments.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes specific examples like the one horned rhinoceros which adds authenticity and relevance to the arguments.
complete response
There is a clear and complete response to the task, addressing the reasons for agreeing with the statement and providing solutions to the problem.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!