Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some
animals
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such
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as giant
turtle
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turtles
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have now totally disappeared.
Therefore
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, many people consider that
this
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should not
happened
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happen
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in the future. I strongly agree with
this
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notion because we can prevent
further
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hunting and killing of
animals
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as well as
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protect their habitat so that they can be safe around us on the planet
for
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in
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long
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the long
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run. These days poaching is very popular whether it be for entertainment purposes or for earning wealth. There were large numbers of
one horned
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one-horned
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rhinoceros in plain areas of Nepal, roaming freely in various areas of forests.Gradually their number started to lessen because people started to hunt them illegally and transported them out of the Nation. Not only in the earlier days but
also
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now, illegal hunting is still prevalent and
this
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species
have
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has
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become rare.
Therefore
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, we might
also
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lose them if public awareness is not raised on time.
This
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one horned
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one-horned
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rhinoceros is just an example.
Besides
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them, there are various other
animals
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which are on the verge of extinction like red panda, Bengali tiger, snow leopard, cheetah, African wild dog and so on. In order to save them , strong rules and regulations should be implemented.
Moreover
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, they play
vital
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a vital
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role
to create
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in creating
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balance on Earth. Forests are their home and protecting them means protecting forests. If the number of
animals
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and birds
keep
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keeps
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on disappearing
then
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eventually the forest areas will
also
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be gone.
This
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will jeopardize
balance
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the balance
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of biodiversity and lead to various bad consequences
such
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as global warming and climate change. The Earth may turn into an unfavourable place to live.
Therefore
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, now is the perfect time
that
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to
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we
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apply
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become wise and preserve various wild species. In conclusion, hunting and poaching and various other human activities like cutting down trees should be stopped immediately to prevent
Use synonyms
animals'
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animals
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extinction so that we do not have to suffer in the future.
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introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with an introduction and provides a clear position on the topic. However, it could benefit from a more elaborated introduction that outlines the key points to be discussed.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical and ideas are presented coherently. You may want to use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
supported main points
Main points are supported with relevant examples, although some parts could be elaborated further to add more depth and clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
To strengthen your task achievement, try to develop your ideas more comprehensively, providing more details and depth in your arguments.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes specific examples like the one horned rhinoceros which adds authenticity and relevance to the arguments.
complete response
There is a clear and complete response to the task, addressing the reasons for agreeing with the statement and providing solutions to the problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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