As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Globalisation
is the process of integration amongst people which was brought about by an unprecedented development in technology, especially in communication and transportation.
This
process has made
cultures
and traditions converge into one, creating a belief that cultural identity will fade into a monochrome of uniformity.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that cultural identity will never be lost as we approach a more globalised
world
.
To begin
with, several consequences are caused by
globalisation
such
as a loss of unique
cultures
. The digital era has ushered in an era of interconnectedness whereby entertainment and other content can be accessed through the Internet.
While
this
interconnectedness allows for the exchange of ideas, it could
also
lead to a more homogenised
world
as individuals adopt dominant popular cultural norms.
Therefore
,
this
could lead to a gradual shift away from the native
culture
towards a globally dominant
culture
, leading to a loss of cultural heritage.
This
can easily be seen in the spread of American
culture
through major US conglomerates
such
as
McDonalds
Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
show examples
and Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola is one of the most popular soft drinks in the
world
and has always been associated with American
culture
, especially food. Its expanse in many countries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been a stepping stone for other US companies to set up their businesses, exposing the natives
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
more American
culture
which they have accepted and even adopted with open arms.
On the other hand
,
globalisation
can be a tool to promote cultural identity. As the
world
becomes more connected, the differences in
cultures
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
sharpened in the process of
globalisation
, can be a source of conflict. In his “Clash of
Cultures
”, political scientist Samuel Huntington argues that post-Cold
war
Capitalize word
War
show examples
politics would be different and only on the basis of
cultures
. To expand on
this
conflict, Huntington explains that whilst the West
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the most influence and
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
their peak of power, lesser nations are returning to their old ways because they have the resources and will to shape the
world
in a non-Western way.
This
is only intensified by the globalised
world
where more people are aware of the differences and commonalities between civilisations. Through
this
shared goal, members of a civilisation can band together in an effort to expand their
cultures
and heritage whilst protecting cultural diversity. In conclusion,
globalisation
brought about by the advent of modern communication and transportation has allowed certain
cultures
to become globally accepted traditions.
However
,
this
globalisation
can lead to a cultural awareness to take action, incentivising individuals to preserve or expand their heritage on the
world
stage.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a complete response to the task, it's important to remember that keeping every idea clearly organized will strengthen the overall argument. Work on slightly improving the clarity and articulation of your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and robust.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples. For instance, detailing exact measures or initiatives aimed at preserving cultural identity in the face of globalization could add more weight to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of using varied connecting phrases and words to ensure smooth transitions. Even though your structure is logically sound, refining the flow between paragraphs can enhance the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding on your conclusion slightly. Restate the main points more clearly to reinforce your argument, leaving the reader with a strong ending impression.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, setting the stage and wrapping up the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates clear comprehension of the task, presenting a thoughtful and balanced discussion on the topic. Well done!
task achievement
You used relevant examples and references, such as Coca-Cola and Samuel Huntington’s theory, to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: