Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say that it causes the loss of national identities.

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With the
filed
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field
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development in
communication
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, transport.
Oversea
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Overseas
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business and cultural
contract
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contracts
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has
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have
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expanded dramatically in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
centuries. It is believed that increasing
contact
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of business and
cultural
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culture
show examples
around the world has post positive impacts.
In
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On
show examples
contrary
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the contrary
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, some
people
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were concerned about
loss
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the loss
a loss
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of local
cultural
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culture
show examples
during
this
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process.
However
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, I
believed
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believe
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the benefit of increasing international trade and cultural exchange would outweigh its
drawback
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drawbacks
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.
In
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On
show examples
the one hand,
development
Correct article usage
the development
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of international
communication
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has immense benefits
to
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for
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almost every
regions
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region
show examples
. The exchange of
goods
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have
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has
show examples
contribute
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contributed
show examples
to
growth
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the growth
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of
world’s
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the world’s
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economic
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economy
show examples
. From end-to-end who sell and buy the
goods
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, increasing business
also
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create
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creates
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substantial job opportunities.
For instance
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,
scale
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the scale
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of
shipping
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the shipping
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industrials
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industry
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
expanded
hundreds
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hundreds of
show examples
times since the begin of
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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century. Meanwhile, the
contact
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of various
Use synonyms
culture
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cultures
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could have
boarden
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broaden
boarded
people
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’s visions. Integration of
culture
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could significantly
stimulated
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stimulate
show examples
the innovation of human
being
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beings
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. Collaboration between
people
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from different
Use synonyms
culture
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cultures
show examples
may integrate novel creation of solutions and approaches to address world problems.
In
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On
show examples
the other hand, overdependence on outcoming
goods
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or
culture
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could have
weaken
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weakened
show examples
the sense of national identity, especially for underdeveloped regions.
Although
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Such
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kind of international
communication
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may contribute to national development,
people
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may
thought
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think
show examples
incoming
goods
Use synonyms
and
culture
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
are more
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advanced than their own.
For instance
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,
although
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the
applied
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application
show examples
of foreign language in some Southeast Asian countries may improve international
communication
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but may
has
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have
show examples
also
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led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
homogenisation. Where traditional
cultural
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cultures
show examples
were tagged
unadvanced
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as unadvanced
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across
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by
show examples
children and young
adult
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adults
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and
Correct pronoun usage
they loss
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loss
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lost
show examples
their interest in their own
culture
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of identity. Undoubtedly, increasing
contact
Use synonyms
in
culture
Use synonyms
and trade is an inevitable process.
People
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should
considering
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consider
be considering
show examples
the
trade off
Add a hyphen
trade-off
show examples
and strike a balance between
import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
and supporting their own’s.
Moreover
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,
although
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integrating foreign
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
may stimulate creativity, they should
also
Linking Words
appreciate their national identity. In
this
Linking Words
way only, when the
contact
Use synonyms
of
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
world’s
Change the noun form
worlds
world
show examples
would be beneficial to all nations.
Submitted by kejian_shi on

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grammar
Focus on improving grammar and sentence structure. For example, 'With the filed development' should be 'With the rapid development' and 'post positive impacts' should be 'has positive impacts'.
vocabulary
Use more specific and varied vocabulary to make the essay more engaging. For example, instead of 'people’s visions', consider 'people's perspectives'.
development
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your examples strongly support your points. For instance, you might want to give a more specific example of how cultural integration leads to innovation.
content
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of increasing international business and cultural contact, showing a balanced perspective.
structure
The structure of the essay is logical, and the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument.
task response
The topic is thoroughly addressed and demonstrates a thoughtful consideration of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • economic growth
  • cultural homogenization
  • national identity
  • cultural diversity
  • international trade
  • investment opportunities
  • tolerance
  • cultural preservation
  • traditional values
  • global influence
  • cultural dilution
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