IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the scale of globalisation today, it would be of unquestionable benefit to have a single world currency. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#scale #globalisation #benefit #world #currency
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Different
countries
Use synonyms
 have different currencies based on locations, natural resources, and some other aspects.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 differences can be barriers between those
countries
Use synonyms
to do
Verb problem
in
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 trading processes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, considering the scale of globalisation
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the
countries
Use synonyms
 need each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. To address
this
Linking Words
 problem, some people say that
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 world
currency
Use synonyms
 is needed to remove the barrier. I disagree with the opinion because that means the money is maintained by
one
Use synonyms
 country.
This
Linking Words
 monopoly can benefit certain groups and different exchange rates for each
currency
Use synonyms
 can lead to problems.
First,
Linking Words
using
one
Use synonyms
 kind of money may lead to
monopoly
Add an article
the monopoly
show examples
 of certain groups. Those groups can rule the world by
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 or
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the price of properties.
This
Linking Words
 can happen if transactions are private and handled by banks.
However
Linking Words
, turning the transaction histories into transparent will solve the distrust problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, cryptocurrencies
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
this
Linking Words
 method to earn people's trust. Everyone can see the whole transaction
histories
Fix the agreement mistake
history
show examples
 to make sure all transactions are fair.
Second,
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centralizing the
currency
Use synonyms
 means that all
countries
Use synonyms
 must exchange their currencies
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the agreed
one
Use synonyms
. By considering that every country has a different value of
currency
Use synonyms
 compared to the agreed
one
Use synonyms
, some nations may obtain less exchanged value than others. That will trigger inflation in several
countries
Use synonyms
, making poor
countries
Use synonyms
 become poorer and
otherwise
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, when
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
accept
Change the verb form
accepts
show examples
Dollar
Correct article usage
the Dollar
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 as
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
currency
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 developed country like Indonesia will have a big change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the price of all things, since
Rupiah
Correct article usage
the Rupiah
show examples
 has
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
exchaged
Correct your spelling
exchanged
exchange
 value on
Dollar
Correct article usage
the Dollar
show examples
. In conclusion, converting the
wealthies
Correct your spelling
wealthiest
show examples
 of all
countries
Use synonyms
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 main
currency
Use synonyms
 will create some problems like distrust and inflation.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is better to keep the
currency
Use synonyms
 like
this
Linking Words
 time.
Submitted by ivannizar on

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task achievement
While you provided a clear stance on the topic, further elaboration on your key points would strengthen your argument. Including more relevant examples and data could also make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear, but the organization can be improved. Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Transition words and phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentences to ensure grammatical accuracy, especially with verb tenses and word choices. Additionally, avoid repetitive phrases and vary your sentence structures for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and help frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You've touched on important issues such as the potential for monopoly and inflation, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalisation
  • economic stability
  • currency exchange rates
  • financial planning
  • exchange costs
  • commissions
  • international transactions
  • monetary policy
  • central banks
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • hedge against currency risk
  • cross-border commerce
  • global trade
  • national governments
  • income disparity
  • logistical challenges
  • international central bank
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