IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter describe the device please explain why you bought it say whether or not your friend should buy it and why.

#device #home #friend #advice
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Dear Joey, I hope
this
 letter finds you fit and fine. I've recently received your letter seeking my advice for purchasing a treadmill identical to the one I purchased
last
 month. Basically, it is the Tesla company's latest
200 watts
Correct your spelling
200-watt
 VX 22 product with features like heartbeat monitoring, calorie burn count, and one-touch emergency stop. It is compact in size and can easily be adjusted in 6*6 space.
Further
, not only do
such
 features attract me to buy it, but I
also
 require a safe and secure device for my mother. Since she is in her eighties, I can not allow her to go alone for a walk on the road so buying it was the best option for me.
Lastly
, because
this
 device is suitable for all age groups, I believe you should go for it without any hesitation.
Although
 it is a one-time investment of $256, I assure you it will gradually become an indispensable part of both your family and your life. If you have any queries, you can ring up to my new number 5623 226 2266. I can't wait to see you soon. Yours loving friend, Jacob
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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task achievement
You have described the device well and provided reasons for purchasing it. Ensure you mention all relevant features comprehensively to make the letter even more informative.
coherence cohesion
In your letter, the ideas flow logically and paragraphs are well-organized. To enhance clarity, you could add transitional phrases between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are warm and personalized, which makes the letter feel genuine.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for communication between friends.
task achievement
The response is complete, addressing all parts of the prompt effectively.
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