It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Nowadays,
children
are becoming more and more uncotrollable
, mainly because of the new laws that extensively protect them. In my honest view, I believe Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
uncontrollably
children
should be punished for doing mischief. This
will help to groom them into responsible individuals. The best ways to correct them would be through beating, grounding and rewarding.
There is a verse in the bible that says, if you spare the rode
you will spoil the Correct your spelling
rod
child
. This
is evident with many children
these days who are as wild as beasts. Children
need to be taught when they are young that every action in life has consequences. Fo
example, if one absconds school without a reason he should be punished. The disrespect shown by people in the streets shows that a lot should be done to put these youngsters in line. The world will be a better place if these Correct your spelling
For
children
grow up to be responsible citizens.
There are a number of measures that i
believe Change the capitalization
I
parent
and teachers should take to discipline Fix the agreement mistake
parents
children
. Teachers must be given the right to beat a child
if they misbehave at school. They should use a rode
to hit the hands and the legs depending on the Replace the word
ride
offense
committed. The infliction of pain Change the spelling
offence
to
the offender will remind them to avoid the same mistake the next time.
More importantly, the parents should ground the Change preposition
on
child
a way of disciplinary action. Deny them to go out and play or perform any kind of activity of their interest. This
will help them understand the depth of their mistakes.
More importantly, adults should also
normalise rewarding a child
when he or she does something positive. This
will help to boost their self confidence
and motivate them to do more good.
In conclusion, Add a hyphen
self-confidence
children
should be disciplined by giving them a good beating and grounding them if they do something bad, this
will work as a reminder to them in the future to avoid repeating the same thing. However
, if a child
has done well people should also
be there to celebrate and reward them for the
good deeds.Change the word
their
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cohesion
Instead of 'In my honest view,' use 'In my opinion' or 'I believe.' Phrases like 'In my honest view' can come across as informal.
coherence
There are some small grammatical mistakes, such as 'uncotrollable' instead of 'uncontrollable' and 'Fo example' instead of 'For example.' Proofread carefully.
coherence
Avoid repetitive phrases. For instance, you used 'more importantly' twice in quick succession. Varying your language can help maintain reader interest.
task response
The first paragraph only mentions forms of punishment without explaining why they are effective. Ensure every main point is supported with appropriate reasons.
task response
Be cautious about recommending corporal punishment like beating. It's a controversial and sensitive topic, and presenting it without further ethical consideration can detract from your argument.
cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your argument that punishment is necessary for teaching children right from wrong is clearly stated.
task response
You use specific examples to illustrate your points, such as grounding children and denying them activities of interest.
cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.