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It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

#children #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behavior
Nowadays,
children
 are becoming more and more
uncotrollable
Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
uncontrollably
, mainly because of the new laws that extensively protect them. In my honest view, I believe
children
 should be punished for doing mischief.
This
 will help to groom them into responsible individuals. The best ways to correct them would be through beating, grounding and rewarding. There is a verse in the bible that says, if you spare the
rode
Correct your spelling
rod
show examples
 you will spoil the
child
.
This
 is evident with many
children
 these days who are as wild as beasts.
Children
 need to be taught when they are young that every action in life has consequences.
Fo
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example, if one absconds school without a reason he should be punished. The disrespect shown by people in the streets shows that a lot should be done to put these youngsters in line. The world will be a better place if these
children
 grow up to be responsible citizens. There are a number of measures that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and teachers should take to discipline
children
. Teachers must be given the right to beat a
child
 if they misbehave at school. They should use a
rode
Replace the word
ride
show examples
 to hit the hands and the legs depending on the
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 committed. The infliction of pain
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the offender will remind them to avoid the same mistake the next time. More importantly, the parents should ground the
child
 a way of disciplinary action. Deny them to go out and play or perform any kind of activity of their interest.
This
 will help them understand the depth of their mistakes. More importantly, adults should
also
 normalise rewarding a
child
 when he or she does something positive.
This
 will help to boost their
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 and motivate them to do more good. In conclusion,
children
 should be disciplined by giving them a good beating and grounding them if they do something bad,
this
 will work as a reminder to them in the future to avoid repeating the same thing.
However
, if a
child
 has done well people should
also
 be there to celebrate and reward them for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 good deeds.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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cohesion
Instead of 'In my honest view,' use 'In my opinion' or 'I believe.' Phrases like 'In my honest view' can come across as informal.
coherence
There are some small grammatical mistakes, such as 'uncotrollable' instead of 'uncontrollable' and 'Fo example' instead of 'For example.' Proofread carefully.
coherence
Avoid repetitive phrases. For instance, you used 'more importantly' twice in quick succession. Varying your language can help maintain reader interest.
task response
The first paragraph only mentions forms of punishment without explaining why they are effective. Ensure every main point is supported with appropriate reasons.
task response
Be cautious about recommending corporal punishment like beating. It's a controversial and sensitive topic, and presenting it without further ethical consideration can detract from your argument.
cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your argument that punishment is necessary for teaching children right from wrong is clearly stated.
task response
You use specific examples to illustrate your points, such as grounding children and denying them activities of interest.
cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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