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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #part #child #focus #academics #school #time
Some people would argue that having regular
sport's
Change noun form
sports
show examples
 sessions is beneficial for students, as opposed to some who believe that they should merely focus on their
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 lessons.
Although
, having more
time
 and energy for studying might lead to more academic-acheivements,
however
, I believe that physical and mental wellness is the primary priority and
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 the success in exams.
To begin
 with, some parents would say that for their children, whose goals are mostly attending STEM, law or health-care majors at college, working out is a waste of
time
. Because if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters spend their precious and limited
time
 and energy on physical activities, they won't be able to study hard enough. They would be exhausted and burned out.
Consequently
, they won't be able to get into their dream universities.
However
, in my opinion, many students are able to manage their
time
wizely
Correct your spelling
wisely
 and set a
scheduele
Correct your spelling
schedule
 for both studying and exercising.
On the other hand
, others argue that adolescents should have a chance to grow
every
Change preposition
in every
show examples
 aspect of their lives and focusing on only
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 skills would have harmful knock-on effects on their bodies and souls. Working out not only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a great impact on one's physical ability but
also
 can boost him or his mental health. It helps with building strong muscles,
everyday
Correct word choice
and everyday
show examples
 activities and avoiding depression and anxiety.
For instance
, psychologists
unusally
Correct your spelling
unusually
usually
 suggest depressed and anxious people
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
do frequent cardio exercises. In my view, it is a necessary activity for everyone and can not be overlooked,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 adolescents who are exposed to mental disorders more than adults. In conclusion,
although
 some students have big academic goals which
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 lots of
time
 and energy, I believe they should not skip their gym and exercise classes.
Submitted by golnaz.zv on

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task response
Check for spelling errors like 'acheivements,' 'wizely,' 'scheduele,' 'unusally,' and 'theorical.' Spelling mistakes can distract from your overall message.
task response
Consider developing your examples further to provide more specificity. For instance, you could explain how physical education can specifically benefit students academically, as well as physically and mentally.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving sentence variety and avoiding repetition. Using different sentence structures will create a more engaging and readable essay.
task response
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints of the topic, which demonstrates a balanced understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and concisely summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically organized, making the essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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