IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers
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In
this
 competitive era, most of the firms are run by top-level executives.
Therefore
, gigantic industries ought to send an enormous amount to higher officials than their employees. I am in complete accord with the given ideology, and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, senior-level executives are more skilled. To explicate, company leaders are aware of new technologies and additional skills
due to
 which they are able to run the business smoothly. Thereby, they deserve a hefty amount of salary as compared to other employees.
Therefore
, it is evidence that CEOs truly deserve high payment for their duty.
In addition
 to
this
, another major factor to favour
this
 statement is that company leaders are
well experienced
Add a hyphen
well-experienced
show examples
. They have to carry the whole burden of the industry on their shoulders. To explain, an experienced one can run the job more accurately by carrying all the responsibilities of the job.
As a result
, the status of the company improves with the efforts of their seniors. To exemplify, there are plenty of companies that are being run by the chairmen or founders as they generally have decades of work experience.
Consequently
, they do not find any hindrance to
run
Wrong verb form
running
show examples
 the associations and
also
 uplift the status of their industry.
Although
 other workers require a hike in their salaries, all of these decisions should be taken on the basis of experience and results.
To conclude
, owing to reasons
such
 as senior-level officials having extra skills and more experience, I agree with those who opine that top executives of high-level companies should deserve more remuneration than regular employees.
Submitted by hopercyhp on

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coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea that adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, they could be more comprehensive. Try to provide more nuanced arguments and diverse examples to support your points more robustly.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your examples in more detail. A specific example that ties directly into your argument can make your point more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines what the essay will cover, which sets a good foundation for your arguments.
logical structure
Your essay remains focused on the topic throughout, and you provide logical reasons for your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
You have effectively concluded your essay, summarizing your main points and restating your opinion clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
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