Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability while others believe that there are more important factors involved in success in sports. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is argued by some
people
that one of the most momentous reason
for achieving Change to a plural noun
reasons
success
in sports is physical situations.On the other hand
,some people
believe that there are various significant aspects to gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
succeed
in Replace the word
success
compititions
.Correct your spelling
competitions
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and I will also
present my own idea.
Some people
hold the view that the majority of athletes
are successful due to
their physical skills.This
is because,
some Remove the comma
apply
people
might have experienced a success
conclusion in the same circumstances.By way of an example,Replace the word
successful
people
who are tall can score more goals in basketball matches.Similarly
,the athletes
with outstretched hands are more successfull
in volleyball sport.Correct your spelling
successful
In other words
,some people
may have seen several athletes
that their success
are
related to their physical power in the teams or Correct subject-verb agreement
is
compititions
.
Whilst,some Correct your spelling
competitions
people
feel that there are a considerable number of points for reaching success
.Generally speaking,physical ability is only a part of success
and people
not only need to be hardworking,but also
they have to be motivated in order to achieve success
in their compititions
.In my perspective,a lot of aspects can help Correct your spelling
competitions
athletes
to get their best results such
as motivation,persistence and effort.I personally think,if
Correct word choice
that if
people
have excellent physical skills,they may be success
in their Replace the word
successful
sport
courses.Change the noun form
sports
However
,it is obvious that some of these people
are not as successfull
as Correct your spelling
successful
expectations
,as they do not follow other points of Replace the word
expected
successfull
.
Correct your spelling
successful
To conclude
,there is not
doubt that physical power is so important for getting Correct your spelling
no
best
consequences in sport.Correct article usage
the best
While
,
alternative factors have a huge impact Remove the comma
apply
for
reaching the greatest results.Take struggle as an example.In my view,Change preposition
on
hardworking
and motivation are fabulous Correct word choice
hard work
combination
that can Fix the agreement mistake
combinations
conduct
Verb problem
motivate
people
to achieve success
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
While you have addressed both sides of the argument, the transition between ideas can be made smoother with the use of appropriate linking phrases. Consider using words like "However," "Furthermore," or "In addition" to ensure a better flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay touches on both views and provides your own opinion, which is good. However, it needs more depth and clarity in explaining why you hold a specific stance. Also, the examples provided can be more detailed and relevant.
task achievement
Review the essay for grammatical errors and incorrect word usage, such as "success" when you mean "successful." Polishing these aspects will improve the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking long sentences into shorter ones to make your ideas clearer and more digestible for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
You have successfully included an introduction and a conclusion that address the essay prompt.
complete response
You have shown a fair understanding of both sides of the argument and expressed a personal opinion, which is essential for Task Achievement.
supported main points
Your essay has a clear structure that includes main points supported by examples, which is crucial for coherence and cohesion.