Many people think that sports stars are paid too much money, while others believe they deserve their high salaries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, some people reckon that

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

earn too much money for their

work

Use synonyms

. I agree with society groups who believe they deserve high salaries, for most of the young

sportsmen

Use synonyms

have a curiosity about their financial fluency, and they

work

Use synonyms

hard to achieve

this

Linking Words

. On the one hand,

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

might not be worthy of a high

salary

Use synonyms

as they do not

work

Use synonyms

much. It is easy to say that

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

do not

work

Use synonyms

much because we only see them during games or events, which are typically a few hours long.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

view ignores all the efforts that are taken

while

Linking Words

training for these matches.

On the other hand

Linking Words

sportsmen

Use synonyms

may not have an income after their career pass

whereas

Linking Words

they are not capable of working in other fields.

In addition

Linking Words

, many

sportsmen

Use synonyms

spend their time mostly on preparing to be fit for upcoming competitions. Nowadays, money plays a big role in everything.

Therefore

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

should be paid

much

Fix the agreement mistake

a higher

show examples

salary

Use synonyms

because their affluence incentivizes growing

sportsmen

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, if

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

do not earn a high

salary

Use synonyms

, people might deem

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

not necessary.

Finally

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

should be paid a high

salary

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, people might think

sportsmen

Use synonyms

do not

work

Use synonyms

much to

be deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a high wage,

while

Linking Words

others believe their high

salary

Use synonyms

will affect on curiosity of other young

sportsmen

Use synonyms

, and I think they should be paid

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

money for their

endeavour

Fix the agreement mistake

endeavours

show examples

while

Linking Words

training.

writingiletscheckerTue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

The task response is generally good with a clear position presented. However, it can be improved by providing more specific examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and cohesion are maintained throughout the essay, but some ideas could be more logically structured. Try to organize your points in a clearer manner to avoid confusion. For example, grouping related ideas together and using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your position on the topic.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and given your own opinion, which is a key requirement in discussing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

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Many people think that sports stars are paid too much money, while others believe they deserve their high salaries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are no longer enough natural resources to sustain current levels of economic growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. identify the pros and cons of living in these locations.

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.