Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, in some parts of the world, the increment of an excessive number of poachers endangers the existence of distinctive animal species. The endangered genus is normally the one that has economic value
due to
its exoticness and uniqueness. The majority of the population believes that these phenomena should be stopped from growing as each animal genera has its own role in the natural food chain and may provide necessary
data
for scientific purposes. I totally stand with the aforementioned statement.
This
essay will elaborate on the importance of the stability of the natural food chain and the sufficient animal scientific
data
for civilization supported with several
data
. The extinction of some genera may extensively trigger the instability of the natural food chain.
This
issue may cause uncontrolled pests which jeopardize several industries
such
as farming and grazing.
Moreover
, it will cut the farm production rate down.
For instance
, the Java Eagle is one of the exotic eagles in Indonesia. Prior to the poacher’s trend increasing, in the early 90s, the number of natural pests like mice was controllable since the Java eagle was its natural predator. In recent decades, the trend of hunting the Java Eagle for commercial purposes has increased affecting a significant loss in its population. The phenomenon affects the excessive growth of the mouse population affecting the rice production rate.
In addition
, before the poacher’s trend occurred, at least two tonnes of rice could be cultivated from every single hectare area. The late
data
in 2023 showed that a hectare area could produce merely five tonnes of rice. In the process of technological advancement, animal behaviour and anatomy have played a crucial role for scientists.
For instance
, the state-of-the-art system inside the stealth aeroplane like B13 is influenced by how steady and quiet the owl is in flying. The researchers have studied several animals for years just to obtain specific information that may be useful for humans. Since the killing and selling of exotic animals increases, in the future, we may have a lack of
data
for research purposes. In conclusion, I strongly believe that animal extinction has to be completely stopped because the uniqueness of every species has its own role in preventing the excessive number of pests
as well as
scientific
data
for technological advancement.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that all sections transition smoothly and logically. The flow can be improved by making clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Provide a slightly more detailed conclusion to reinforce the main points discussed.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas presented are fully elaborated. For example, the connection between the poaching of the Java Eagle and the reduction in rice production could be expanded a bit more to clarify the cause-and-effect relationship.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the need to prevent extinction and the supporting reasons.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present and set the stage as well as wrap up the essay well.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to support the main points, such as the example of the Java Eagle and its impact on rice production, which enhances the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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