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Band 2.5

Some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #students #grades #study #education #school
I strongly agree that people should have physical
education
 because
kids
 need strength,
in addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is an important thing in life you will need it in almost anything, like learning how to swim, playing with your friends and a lot of other things. Physical
education
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
something that makes you stronger teaches you and is fun so
kids
 like it most
kids
 like is most of their
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
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. So how could it get better
kids
 like it makes them stronger, and they like it, or we like it
.
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?
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 In our
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
 we know if PE is fun by the teacher some teachers are fun and some are not but in all cases I like PE. Physical
education
 is a very
heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
 thing in life it teaches you to stay healthy work out and most importantly eat
heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
. So
that is
 why I sincerely and strongly think that physical
education
 is a very important thing in life.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Ensure to clearly define your main points in each paragraph and provide supporting examples for each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to proofread for grammatical accuracy, clarity, and a variety of sentence structures to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented a clear stance on the topic, making it evident that you agree with the importance of physical education.
coherence cohesion
Including personal experiences, such as your own enjoyment of PE, adds a personal touch to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main point, providing a sincere and strong endorsement of physical education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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