Some people think the developments involving the Internet have brought people closer together while others think that people And communities have become more isolated. dicuss both the views and give your opinion.
It is often argued that
people
who use
the Internet become more isolated. But, there are many people
say
that the Internet Correct pronoun usage
who say
let
them close to each other. I think that it is really necessary to have a social life. In Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
this
essay, I will discuss both views.
First,
people
who think that the Internet let
Verb problem
makes
people
more isolated have their own reasons. For example
, they spend a lot of time
using Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
, I know somebody who Fix the agreement mistake
phones
use
their Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
phone
for 12 hours a day, and the result is, he become
Change the verb form
becomes
more
isolated person he Correct article usage
a more
do
not love to go outside or Change the verb form
does
playing
in the garden like the other guys again. Wrong verb form
play
In addition
, it is bad for health
if you Correct pronoun usage
your health
stayed
a long Verb problem
spend
time
using phone
, so, there Correct article usage
a phone
is
no benefits Change the verb form
are
for
using Change preposition
to
phone
for Add an article
the phone
a phone
long
Change the article
a long
time
it will make you more isolate
and lonely person.
On the other side. there are many Wrong verb form
isolated
people
do
not Correct pronoun usage
who do
use
their phone
a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
phones
time
, they like to hang out with their friends, also
, they like to exercising
and play football, Change the verb
exercise
hopefully
that I am not using my Add the comma(s)
hopefully,
phone
too much, I just check if my parents called me then
I lock it up, so, because of that I have more close to people
.
In conclusion. In my point of view, I think that there is
Change the verb form
are
people
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
for a long Fix the agreement mistake
phones
time
in
the day but they have Change preposition
during
social
life, it really depends on the person. Add an article
a social
Furthermore
, you need to control yourself in using phone
. Both views have their advantages and disadvantages.Correct pronoun usage
your phone
Submitted by bcynfn159 on
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grammar
Work on improving grammar and sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentences that make the essay difficult to read in places. For example, 'he do not love to go outside' should be 'he does not love to go outside.'
coherence
Improve coherence by ensuring ideas flow logically. Right now, the essay jumps between points without smooth transitions. Using linking phrases and organizing your points logically would help.
examples
You attempt to provide examples to support your points, which is good for explaining your reasoning.
task
You fully address the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.