The international community must act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels (e.g. gas and oil). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that global organisations should propose countries around the world cut down fossil
energy
dependence immediately. In my point of view,
this
would be a short-sighted opinion. Humanity is indeed faced with vital environmental issues,
for example
, climate change and air pollution, both of which are a result of fossil
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
combustion. To mitigate carbon
as well as
pollutants emissions, world scientists and engineers have introduced a series of alternative
energy
sources.
For instance
, nuclear power plants and tidal
energy
.
However
, these potential solutions were adequate to fulfil the
energy
demands at the current
time
. Statistical evidence indicates coals, gas and petroleum were still the major sources of electric generalisation, warming, and transportation, respectively.
Moreover
, businesses like the shipping industry powered by
fuels
cover more than 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of crop trading,
while
an alternative has not yet been engaged. A sharp decrease in fossil fuel consumption is not a realistic approach. The transition from reliance on
fuels
to clean
energy
requires comprehensive planning and a substantial amount of
time
.
Additionally
, the proponents of
this
idea did not consider the social-economic variation among different countries. Renewable technologies are not cost-efficient at
this
moment. For developing nations, equipment like solar panels and wind electric generators could be hardly unaffordable.
Furthermore
, addressing national problems,
for example
, food and water security, those essentials for living are the priorities. Transition to renewable
energy
at the current
time
would
further
hinder the prosperity of their societies. A dramatic reduction in
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
consumption would be an unsustainable goal to achieve at
this
time
. In conclusion, forcing every country around the world to decrease the use of fossil
fuels
immediately would be an immature thought. In order to realise the goal of
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
sustainable development, multiple aspects across the social and national need to be carefully considered and robustly planned.
Submitted by kejian_shi on

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task achievement
You have presented a clear argument and addressed the question comprehensively. However, make sure to elaborate more on your examples. Providing more specific and detailed examples can further support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some sentences could be clearer and more concise. Try to avoid overly complex sentence structures, and be sure that each sentence clearly supports your main argument.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and discussed important points related to the topic, and your essay reflects a good level of understanding.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is commendable, and it is easy to follow your line of reasoning. Your paragraphs are well-organized and connected smoothly.

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