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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Schools should teach students how to become successful in their work instead of focusing on academic success. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #work #success
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
students
Use synonyms
 in schools should be taught how to succeed in their
future
Use synonyms
 careers
instead
Linking Words
 of only focusing on their academic success.
While
Linking Words
 educational success plays an important role in
people
Use synonyms
's lives, I agree that addressing work success in schools is of even greater importance. On the one hand, some individuals believe that
students
Use synonyms
 only need to get high
grades
Use synonyms
 in their studies to be successful. But since
people
Use synonyms
 have different talents and interests, certainly not everyone can get good
grades
Use synonyms
 in all subjects.
For example
Linking Words
, some children become great engineers,
while
Linking Words
 others become successful athletes.
In addition
Linking Words
, if a group of
students
Use synonyms
 does not have mathematical intelligence, they will get low
grades
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 field and may
subsequently
Linking Words
 suffer from depression.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
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 think that only excellent
grades
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 of
students
Use synonyms
 do not guarantee them a decent job in the
future
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.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that,
students
Use synonyms
 must learn how
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 their talents in the job world. In fact, schools and governments should identify
students
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' talents and guide them
accordingly
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can organize many competitions and
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 to discover the different abilities of children.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 work in the field they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 and talent.
As a result
Linking Words
, we can see an increase in job satisfaction among adults in the
future
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 academic progress is essential for many fields, I personally believe that a focus on the
future
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 of employment has the most beneficial effects on the development of young
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic and that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support each of your main points. Use real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples to illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Address the question directly in your introduction, and ensure that your essay consistently supports your initial stance throughout.
task achievement
While discussing both views, maintain clarity in expressing which side you support by providing clear arguments and illustrating why you believe it has more merits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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