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Band 4.5

People should only buy food sourced locally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #food
The world has changed
becase
Correct your spelling
because
people
 buy
food
 sourced locally .
To day
Correct your spelling
Today
show examples
 many
people
 enjoy eating
food
 sourced locally.
This
 essay will explain what are the
advantages
 and disadvantages of
this
 On the one hand,
food
soured
Correct your spelling
sourced
show examples
 locally has many
advantages
.First,
food
soured
Correct your spelling
sourced
show examples
 locally is really cheap .
that is
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 everyone can buy
food
 sourced locally .The
food
 sourced locally is very nice and the atmosphere is good.
second,
the
food
 sourced
loclly
Correct your spelling
locally
 is extremely
dilicious
Correct your spelling
delicious
.There are
diffrrnt
Correct your spelling
different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
 .
for example
,
chines
Correct your spelling
Chinese
show examples
,
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 and
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
that is
 very delicious
food
.
Finally
, there are many
shop
Change to a plural noun
shops
show examples
 in
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 presents
food
 .
Although
 they
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
food
 in
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 culture.
Also
, the place is
fantastis
Correct your spelling
fantastic
 and unusual.
Poepl
Correct your spelling
People
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 new culture
food
. On the
othere
Correct your spelling
other
 hand,
food
 sourced locally has
also
 many disadvantages .
First,
food
 soured locally is unhealthy
food
 .
That is
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 has high calories.
That is
 not good for the body . That will cause overweight . second ,
food
 sourced locally is not
ctean
Correct your spelling
clean
.
For example
 ,no gloves, no
cleaing
Correct your spelling
cleaning
clearing
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 and no
mask
Fix the agreement mistake
masks
show examples
.
That is
 not good for
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
health care
.The
people
shouid
Correct your spelling
should
 see if the
food
 is clean or not .
Finally
,
food
 sourced locally
maybe will
Wrong verb form
may
show examples
 cause diseases like poisoning .
People
 should see
thefood
Correct your spelling
the food
 if it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 cooked or not .Everyone should see the kitchen and the workers . Buy
food
 soured locally
food
 is a
double edged
Add a hyphen
double-edged
show examples
wepon
Correct your spelling
weapon
. In conclusion, it is
ciear
Correct your spelling
clear
 to see
duying
Correct your spelling
during
buying
food
 sourced locally has several
advantages
 .
However
, it
mast
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
 be noted that there are some
dis
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
show examples
advantages
.
Submitted by alfred on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essays with clearer paragraphs. Make sure each idea has its own paragraph and is fully developed before moving to the next. This will improve the logical structure and make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Work on the relevance and clarity of your examples. For instance, when mentioning different types of local food, focus on how they contribute to your argument (e.g., economic benefits or cultural diversity). Also, provide more specific examples for both advantages and disadvantages to strengthen your points.
language
It is important to check for spelling and grammatical errors. Issues such as 'dilicious' instead of 'delicious' or 'ciear' instead of 'clear' can distract the reader and affect understanding. Proofreading your work can help catch these errors.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is concise and clearly states the topic, which gives a good initial impression.
task achievement
You have touched on both the advantages and disadvantages of locally sourced food, providing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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