In most of the developing and under-developed countries, well-educated professionals prefer to leave their nations after completing their studies and do jobs in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this problem? Suggest some solutions too.

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In most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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third and
second world
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second-world
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countries
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, it is argued that highly educated workers tend to leave their
countries
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after finishing their studies and
work
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in
first world
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first-world
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nations. The reasons are because in the developed
coutries
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countries
have no
corruption
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case
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cases
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and
give
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provide
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good
healthcare
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.
However
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, the solutions that
applicable
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are applicable
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for those reasons are changing the
work
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ethic of the authorities and fixing the
healthcare
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facilities. The main reason for the worker is the
work
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ethics applied in developed nations where they are no
corruption
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occurs
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occurring
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in the workplace.
This
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can
affecting
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affect
be affecting
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the clear situation for most people who just want to
work
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in good workplaces.
For example
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, workers get clear
insentives
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incentives
and bigger salaries because their manager
don't
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doesn't
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take their money. Another reason is the good
healthcare
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in the first world
countries
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such
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as
UK
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the UK
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and Norway where they can get not only better
healthcare
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but
also
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free.
This
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will affect them to think of their future living in a better
nations
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nation
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.
The
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A
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possible solution is fixing the mindset of the authorities because sometimes they tend to
selfish
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be selfish
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and
hence
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do
Verb problem
apply
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corruptions
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corrupt
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.
For example
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, Indonesia has the most
corruption
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cases
compare
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compared
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to Singapore and Japan.
Hence
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, They created Wissle Blowing System to prevent
the
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apply
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cases where people can report
annonimously
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anonymously
to the police or higher management in a company. Another solution is enhancing the
healthcare
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facilities that can come from the government budgets.
For example
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, Malaysia has already established better
healthcare
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where
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whereas
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people from Indonesia tend to go for medical
checking
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checks
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or
do
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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surgeries. In conclusion, there are reasons why
higher
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highly
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educated workers tend to leave their
countries
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after
studies
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their studies
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and do jobs in developed
coutries
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countries
. It is because of zero
corruption
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case
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cases
show examples
and better
healthcare
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. To prevent
this
Linking Words
, the government should
changing
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change
be changing
show examples
their mindset on
corruption
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and
building
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build
be building
show examples
a better
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better healthcare facilities
a better healthcare facility
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healthcare
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facilities in their
countries
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.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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General
Make sure to proofread for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, 'where they are no corruption' should be 'where there is no corruption'.
Task Achievement
Try to develop each point more fully to provide a more comprehensive analysis. For instance, the essay could further explore the impacts of corruption on individuals’ decisions to migrate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay, such as using more varied linking words and phrases.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the main arguments well.
Relevant/Specific Examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of the Whistle Blowing System in Indonesia, which add depth to the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Economic factors
  • Job opportunities
  • Living standards
  • Research infrastructure
  • Career advancement
  • Political stability
  • Social services
  • Exodus
  • Incentive programs
  • Competitive salaries
  • Professional migration
  • Investments in education
  • Home countries
  • Corruption
  • Incentive programs
  • Adequate job opportunities
  • Political institutions
  • Lower crime rates
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