In most of the developing and under-developed countries, well-educated professionals prefer to leave their nations after completing their studies and do jobs in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this problem? Suggest some solutions too.

In most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third and
second world
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second-world
show examples
countries
, it is argued that highly educated workers tend to leave their
countries
after finishing their studies and
work
in
first world
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first-world
show examples
nations. The reasons are because in the developed
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
have no
corruption
case
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cases
show examples
and
give
Verb problem
provide
show examples
good
healthcare
.
However
, the solutions that
applicable
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are applicable
show examples
for those reasons are changing the
work
ethic of the authorities and fixing the
healthcare
facilities. The main reason for the worker is the
work
ethics applied in developed nations where they are no
corruption
occurs
Wrong verb form
occurring
show examples
in the workplace.
This
can
affecting
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affect
be affecting
show examples
the clear situation for most people who just want to
work
in good workplaces.
For example
, workers get clear
insentives
Correct your spelling
incentives
and bigger salaries because their manager
don't
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doesn't
show examples
take their money. Another reason is the good
healthcare
in the first world
countries
such
as
UK
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the UK
show examples
and Norway where they can get not only better
healthcare
but
also
free.
This
will affect them to think of their future living in a better
nations
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nation
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
possible solution is fixing the mindset of the authorities because sometimes they tend to
selfish
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be selfish
show examples
and
hence
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
corruptions
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corrupt
show examples
.
For example
, Indonesia has the most
corruption
cases
compare
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compared
show examples
to Singapore and Japan.
Hence
, They created Wissle Blowing System to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases where people can report
annonimously
Correct your spelling
anonymously
to the police or higher management in a company. Another solution is enhancing the
healthcare
facilities that can come from the government budgets.
For example
, Malaysia has already established better
healthcare
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
people from Indonesia tend to go for medical
checking
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checks
show examples
or
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surgeries. In conclusion, there are reasons why
higher
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highly
show examples
educated workers tend to leave their
countries
after
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
and do jobs in developed
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
. It is because of zero
corruption
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
and better
healthcare
. To prevent
this
, the government should
changing
Change the verb form
change
be changing
show examples
their mindset on
corruption
and
building
Change the verb form
build
be building
show examples
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better healthcare facilities
a better healthcare facility
show examples
healthcare
facilities in their
countries
.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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General
Make sure to proofread for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, 'where they are no corruption' should be 'where there is no corruption'.
Task Achievement
Try to develop each point more fully to provide a more comprehensive analysis. For instance, the essay could further explore the impacts of corruption on individuals’ decisions to migrate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay, such as using more varied linking words and phrases.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the main arguments well.
Relevant/Specific Examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of the Whistle Blowing System in Indonesia, which add depth to the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Economic factors
  • Job opportunities
  • Living standards
  • Research infrastructure
  • Career advancement
  • Political stability
  • Social services
  • Exodus
  • Incentive programs
  • Competitive salaries
  • Professional migration
  • Investments in education
  • Home countries
  • Corruption
  • Incentive programs
  • Adequate job opportunities
  • Political institutions
  • Lower crime rates
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