In most of the developing and under-developed countries, well-educated professionals prefer to leave their nations after completing their studies and do jobs in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this problem? Suggest some solutions too.
In most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
third and Correct article usage
apply
second world
Add a hyphen
second-world
countries
, it is argued that highly educated workers tend to leave their countries
after finishing their studies and work
in first world
nations. The reasons are because in the developed Add a hyphen
first-world
coutries
have no Correct your spelling
countries
corruption
case
and Fix the agreement mistake
cases
give
good Verb problem
provide
healthcare
. However
, the solutions that applicable
for those reasons are changing the Add a missing verb
are applicable
work
ethic of the authorities and fixing the healthcare
facilities.
The main reason for the worker is the work
ethics applied in developed nations where they are no corruption
occurs
in the workplace. Wrong verb form
occurring
This
can affecting
the clear situation for most people who just want to Change the verb form
affect
be affecting
work
in good workplaces. For example
, workers get clear insentives
and bigger salaries because their manager Correct your spelling
incentives
don't
take their money. Another reason is the good Change the verb form
doesn't
healthcare
in the first world countries
such
as UK
and Norway where they can get not only better Correct article usage
the UK
healthcare
but also
free. This
will affect them to think of their future living in a better nations
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
nation
The
possible solution is fixing the mindset of the authorities because sometimes they tend to Correct article usage
A
selfish
and Add a missing verb
be selfish
hence
do
Verb problem
apply
corruptions
. Replace the word
corrupt
For example
, Indonesia has the most corruption
cases compare
to Singapore and Japan. Wrong verb form
compared
Hence
, They created Wissle Blowing System to prevent the
cases where people can report Correct article usage
apply
annonimously
to the police or higher management in a company. Another solution is enhancing the Correct your spelling
anonymously
healthcare
facilities that can come from the government budgets. For example
, Malaysia has already established better healthcare
where
people from Indonesia tend to go for medical Correct word choice
whereas
checking
or Fix the agreement mistake
checks
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
surgeries.
In conclusion, there are reasons why Correct article usage
apply
higher
educated workers tend to leave their Replace the word
highly
countries
after studies
and do jobs in developed Correct pronoun usage
their studies
coutries
. It is because of zero Correct your spelling
countries
corruption
case
and better Fix the agreement mistake
cases
healthcare
. To prevent this
, the government should changing
their mindset on Change the verb form
change
be changing
corruption
and building
Change the verb form
build
be building
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better healthcare facilities
a better healthcare facility
healthcare
facilities in their countries
.Submitted by alyalihan28 on
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General
Make sure to proofread for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, 'where they are no corruption' should be 'where there is no corruption'.
Task Achievement
Try to develop each point more fully to provide a more comprehensive analysis. For instance, the essay could further explore the impacts of corruption on individuals’ decisions to migrate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay, such as using more varied linking words and phrases.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the main arguments well.
Relevant/Specific Examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of the Whistle Blowing System in Indonesia, which add depth to the discussion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite