IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinio

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #opinio
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Several
people
 assume that it is better to agree on a wrong circumstance,
for example
,
disappointing
Correct article usage
a disappointing
show examples
 occupation or a low salary. Some argue that it is superior to try and enhance
such
 conditions.
This
 essay will partially agree and give both views. Being in a bad
job
 will have a lot of consequences for the person in the future, physically and mentally. If the
job
 has a shortage of money it would be better to quit and find a
job
 that has a more significant salary. some other jobs don't have any convenience, whatever, they provide a high wage, mostly prefer to quit and
along with
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 new position, another type of jobs don't have any privacy which is
also
 a wild reason for
people
 to quit. Another type of
people
 doesn't want to change their position no matter if it has low pay or even bad behaviour from the company employment,
however
, that because many reasons, for instance, maybe the location of the organisation is pretty near to the person's house and family, another reason, is the second company requirement. In conclusion, many
people
 have their own reasons for accepting their faith, whether, it is changing their company and getting to another one which will change their full life routine, or having another
job
 that will make their life more adventurous. In my opinion, I am more into having an interesting life, so I will probably try to improve my
cv
Correct your spelling
CV
show examples
 and
then
 apply for a new
job
Submitted by Endo on

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coherence cohesion
Try to introduce clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical structure of your essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support your main points. This will demonstrate your ability to provide relevant and specific evidence for your claims.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas more comprehensive by expanding on them. Provide more detailed explanations and avoid jumping from one point to another without adequate elaboration.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent structure.
task achievement
The author presents both sides of the argument, discussing reasons why some people may accept a bad situation and why others may try to improve their situation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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