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Band 7

In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.

#society #work #internet #contact #development
no one can deny that preference is an important issue. it has both positive and negative aspects. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly believe that it has a positive development on society. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some arguments that support my ideas about
this
 statement. In our contemporary world, increases in technology have many benefits for all people on the whole.
Firstly
, the
Internet
 helps a lot of people to save a significant amount of time. influence of the
internet
 is really essential.
For instance
, when folks want to go shopping they do not spend their time walking through every store in the mall. During the development of the
internet
, they could open online stores and choose what they wanted just by tapping screens on their smartphones.
In addition
, it is easier to do online work than offline work
due to
 we reduce our spent time on the way to our office.
Besides
 the advantages, there are
also
 drawbacks to humans. The most important is bad communication with others. The best example to illustrate
that is
 when we are always working via the
internet
 causes unreliable relationships in society
due to
 there being no interaction with each other and never having face-to-face meetings.
Moreover
, it makes less interaction and causes increasing crimes
due to
 no close relationship.
Furthermore
, if we are shopping in an online store, there are many frauds or cyberattacks in which cybercriminals can steal our online amount of money. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
this
 point of view has more advantages because it can offer benefits than drawbacks.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more concise and clear introduction that directly addresses the question. Consider refining your thesis statement to make your position clearer from the beginning.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are supported with specific and relevant examples. Providing concrete evidence will strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a clearer organizational structure. Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea and that these ideas are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your position rather than introducing new information. This will help reinforce your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative aspects of the topic, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases helps in connecting your ideas and arguments smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • remote work
  • virtual meetings
  • contactless transactions
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • efficiency
  • time-saving
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • social interaction
  • fraud
  • misuse
  • dependency
  • technology
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