Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often held that
zoos
should be closed down due to
their workers’ cruelty. While
some people
think this
reason is predominant, others think that wildlife parks can be useful in protecting animals
. This
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.
On the one hand, some people
are of the opinion that zoo employees are violent, so animals
in captivity should be cut down. In my opinion, these thoughts are the consequence of workers’ bad responsibilities. For instance
, these responsibilities include giving some water, food, etc. Because there are lots of situations when some tourists from other countries come to see wild creatures
like lions, cheetahs and hippos they will not be in their cages or when they will just lie down doing nothing. One clear example of this
is when I went to the biggest collection of wild creatures
in our country, there were plenty of beasts that did not have the will to do something. Therefore
, this
group of people
believe that menageries should be cut down.
On the other hand
, other people
admit that zoos
have lots of useful things for protecting their animals
. If we say more specifically, these people
believe that zoos
can protect the species that are in danger of disappearing. For example
, we can take snow leopards. In our country, Kazakhstan, there are only a few of these animals
and they were entered into our red book. The red book is the book with the list of disappearing creatures
. Snow leopards live in the mountains in Almaty in the south of Kazakhstan, so we can see these beasts from the zoo that is
located in Almaty when I was in the Almaty zoo I saw these species too and I was shocked. Because, if we compare other animals
in zoos
from other cities, they were in good condition and totally active for a long time. That is
why the other group of people
admit that zoos
are good for protecting wild and disappearing creatures
.
In conclusion, there were lots of debates arguing that zoos
are cruel, while
others think that zoos
are useful for providing better conditions for beasts. Personally, in my point of view, zoos
are the best for all .Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on
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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit long and could benefit from being broken down into shorter, more comprehensible segments. This will enhance coherence and readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by clearly stating both sides of the argument and your position.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
supported main points
You provided personal examples which help to illustrate your points and engage the reader.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and restates your opinion, providing a strong ending to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?