IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is important for every one, including young people, to save money for thier future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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People
such
Linking Words
 as
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
 should pay attention to save
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
 living. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because it guarantees their lives in
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to spend their lives in adulthood independently. First and foremost, storing
money
Use synonyms
 prevents the need
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 others after recruitment. In fact, when the
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 will be old, they can afford their special expenditures by themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, in Iran, despite that old individuals suffer from types of illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as high blood pressure or heart disease, they can pay
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 vast majority of medical services.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 will experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace and serenity in
future
Use synonyms
 provided that they save
money
Use synonyms
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 some parts of
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
 in the
younghood
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
, having
money
Use synonyms
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 them to provide the best facilities for themselves and their families.
For instance
Linking Words
, adult people
are be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reasonable houses and cars or
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 their children in
Add an article
a high
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high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
saving
money
Use synonyms
 specially in
younghood
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 seems
difficualt
Correct your spelling
difficult
, doing it is better
due to
Linking Words
 it
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 people to preserve their
self-steem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
, and they can support their costs.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, they enjoy the peace-full lives in
future
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that
poople
Correct your spelling
people
 should think about
future
Use synonyms
 years, and save their
money
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that the essay transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Address the essay prompt more comprehensively by discussing counterarguments or different perspectives. This will show a better understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Revise the essay for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points, making them more convincing and relatable.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting the stage for the essay.
Supported Main Points
You provided relevant points on why saving money is important, particularly in old age and adulthood.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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