IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, the topic of adult
Use synonyms
child rearing
Add a hyphen
child-rearing
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 issues has emerged as a significant
concerm
Correct your spelling
concern
 for the general public.
While
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 some individuals contend that parents should teach
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
 how to be good members of society,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 maintain that
School
Use synonyms
 is the place to learn
this
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.
This
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 essay will elucidate these differing perspectives.
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the one hand, it is essential to recognize that individuals should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with Parental responsibility for
children
Use synonyms
. A crucial consideration is that The teaching of parents for
children
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 is very important, which highlights
that
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apply
show examples
Determining the personality of the
child
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 when growing up.
For example
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, it is
noteworythy
Correct your spelling
noteworthy
 that A
child
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 who is taught well is sure to later know how to treat people.
In addition
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, another important point to emphasize is
Train
Fix the infinitive
to Train
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 and teach
children
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 when they are young.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that That should be the baby's platform when growing up.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint
that
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on
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 The role of
school
Use synonyms
 for
children
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. A noteworthy factor to consider is that
School
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in teaching
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
, which emphasizes that The teachers have a way to train and simplify
children
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 with good things and encourage
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 follow.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to underscore that
The
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apply
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teachers always have ways to train
children
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 how to go right and to become good members of society plays a significant role in
this
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 discussion.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that Practical examples can be given
to
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of
show examples
 the harmful effects of the
child
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 to see to deter the spirit and encourage
children
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 not to follow, thereby providing a
cleares
Correct your spelling
clear
. In short, teaching
children
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 to become good members of society is the responsibility of the family
as well as
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 the responsibility of the
school
Use synonyms
 and the teachers.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction—state whether you believe parents or schools play a more significant role.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one idea.
task achievement
Enhance the quality of examples and explanations to make your argument more persuasive, providing detailed reasoning for your points.
task achievement
You've identified and discussed both perspectives regarding the role of parents and schools, demonstrating an understanding of the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for a clear response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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