Some people think that adverts control what we purchase, while orthers think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Intro:
It is argued that advertising plays a significant role
on
the ways Change preposition
in
people
purchase products
. However
, other
believe that adverts are the best place to know more Fix the agreement mistake
others
information
about items. This
essay will explore both sides and explain my own view on this
topic.
On the one hand, advert agencies have the ability to attract and to guide people
to buy products
. In other words
, in order to impress their buyers, they tend to employ selebrities
or Correct your spelling
celebrities
sportmen
and women Correct your spelling
sportsmen
such
as Messy and Christiano Ronaldo to promote their brands. Consequently
, products
that are endorsed by such
selebirities
, would possibly influence Correct your spelling
celebrities
people
Change noun form
people's
consumstion
Correct your spelling
consumption
behavior
. When one wants to buy a bottle of water, Change the spelling
behaviour
that
promoted by Ronaldo, he may think that it could shape his body Correct pronoun usage
apply
as
Ronaldo. Change preposition
like
Therefore
, our purchasing habit is hugely insfluenced
by Correct your spelling
influenced
commersials
or showing them Correct your spelling
commercials
commercial
at
our Change preposition
on
televisin
.
Correct your spelling
television
televisin'
On the other hand
, adds
are beneficial since they provide Correct your spelling
ads
detail
Replace the word
detailed
information
about their goods. This
means that individual
can easily understand about Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
ingredience
, composition, and material of Correct your spelling
ingredients
products
before deciding to buy them. Another positive aspect is that people
may compare between
one Change preposition
apply
companies
to another in terms of price. Change to a singular noun
company
For instance
, parents can make comparison
of milk for their babies. Fix the agreement mistake
comparisons
Firstly
, they can compare the ingredience
, which milk did not contain sugar or less sugar. Correct your spelling
ingredients
Secondly
, they also
can easily comparing
the prices between them. Change the verb form
compare
be comparing
Additionally
, they can learn compani's
Correct your spelling
company's
products
on their website. Therefore
, Advertising is essential since it provides information
about product
.
In conclusion, advers are crucial for both influencing buyers to buy their Add an article
the product
products
and giving information
to their buyers. In my opinion, I completely agree that adds
play a significant role for inviting Correct your spelling
ads
people
to buy and to inform people
about their field,Submitted by salwafahanim on
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coherence cohesion
You have done a good job discussing both sides of the argument, but you need to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should connect smoothly to the next to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the use of transition words. They are crucial for maintaining cohesion. Words like 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'consequently' should be used appropriately to link sentences and ideas.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and diverse vocabulary to make your essay more engaging. Avoid repeating the same words, such as 'advertising' and 'products,' and try to vary your word choice.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as spelling mistakes. Make sure to proofread your essay to catch errors like 'ingrendience' instead of 'ingredients' and 'selebrities' instead of 'celebrities.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for structuring your argument.
task achievement
You have done well in presenting both sides of the argument, which shows balanced reasoning.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example