IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children about the importance of recycling. Others believe recycling should be taught in schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #importance #schools
A plenty
Remove the article
Plenty
show examples
 of
people
 believe that
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 should
teach
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
 to
recycling
Wrong verb form
recycle
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their
parents
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 another group of
people
 believe that
this knowledges
Change the determiner
this knowledge
these knowledges
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 to be taught by
schools
. In my opinion recycling habit should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be taught either in
schools
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 in houses. Indeed, in our times, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 do not
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 that resources in our world
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not eternal and
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
show examples
 their own homelands.
However
, a group of
people
 decided to take
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their
Correct word choice
own hand
show examples
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 and lead our world to
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 existence.
Nevertheless
, even if humankind has ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
data to save the world,
this
 data is to be shared. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are growing up right now
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
thaughts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
show examples
 in
this
 sphere and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
would be pretty good if
parents
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 them to recycle. Of
cource
Correct your spelling
course
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
conversating
Wrong verb form
are conversing
show examples
 with their
children
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 simple rules are to be said to
children
.
On the other hand
,
schools
 are more cooperated and
crowdly
Correct your spelling
crowd
crowded
comunicated
Correct your spelling
communicated
communicate
 with
children
 during the
lessons
, break times and extra activities.
Furthermore
, there is
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
big
Correct word choice
a large
show examples
 amount of
non-necessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
show examples
 data
that is
giving
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
schools
Change preposition
in schools
show examples
.
Those
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 information is to be changed to recycling
lessons
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 worth certain
lessons
 for
such
 global trouble. Teaching
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
,
director
Fix the agreement mistake
directors
show examples
 and active faces in school should do something like events or posts below
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 entrance.
For example
 in some
schools
 of India, there are plenty of various activities that
teaches
Change the verb form
teach
show examples
 to not rubbishing outside in any place, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 certain
lessons
 and
somephing
Correct your spelling
something
 like punishes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those who rubbish in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
 place.
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 way,
schools
 can prevent
this
 global problem and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 more potential.
To sum up
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 special places to teach something, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
such
people
 who
teaches
Change the verb form
teach
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 recycle. In my opinion, both
schools
 and
parents
 are to give basic
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 in
this
 theme.
Submitted by berlinastanalll on

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task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints and provides an opinion, but the arguments need further development and clarity to improve the score.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. At times, your points lack depth or clear explanation.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence by structuring your essay logically. Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking phrases will help make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a sense of closure.
task achievement
You have addressed both views in the discussion, which indicates a comprehensive approach to the task.

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