Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are tough to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are
spilt
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split
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opinion
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opinions
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regarding TV influences on
children
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children's
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development to become useful
adult
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adults
show examples
in future. Some believe that a sense of competition should be encouraged,
whereas
another group of thinkers support that children’s co-operate play is
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
reason to become
effective
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an effective
show examples
person later.
Therefore
, before commenting on my decision, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinion
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opinions
show examples
would be discussed. Examining the former
opinion
, the primary
arguments
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argument
show examples
the supporters would put
forwards
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forward
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is competition’s acquit skills.
This
is because it
ameliorate
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ameliorates
show examples
child’s
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a child’s
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skill. So, the experiences kids gather
while
playing
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in at
show examples
at
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a
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challenge
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challenging
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atmosphere are so profound that
it
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they
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change their
life
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lives
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to a great extent. To elaborate more, in games
such
as
puzzle
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puzzles
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, young child will promote their sense of cognitive thinking.
In addition
, they
also
believe that both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations will
enhance
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be enhanced
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significantly. The reason is rewards
in
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at
show examples
the end of each
games
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game
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that encourage children to do their best potential to reach it.
On the contrary
, the
later
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latter
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view
suggest
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suggests
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that the time that
cooperate
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cooperation
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between children influences
in
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apply
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their development, behaviour , and adulthood age. To clarify, the concept of sharing ideas or toys
establish
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establishes
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a strong social personality of
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the chid
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chid
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child
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. So she/he can build
relationship
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relationships
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with other individuals without any
berries
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barriers
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like shay or fear to deal with social speech.
To conclude
and give my
opinion
, I would say that
enhance
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enhancing
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competition sense and
build
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building
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effective co-operate vibes provide great advantages on child development in multifaceted
of
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apply
show examples
life that because of support critical thinking, knowledge
as well as
a healthy relationship with others.
Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that supports the main thesis of your essay. Avoid introducing new concepts in the conclusion.
cohesion
Make sure to use clear and logical connectors to help guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
grammar
Avoid grammatical errors and try to use a greater range of vocabulary to articulate your ideas more effectively.
conclusion
Your conclusion brings the essay to a close effectively by summarizing the main points discussed.
task response
You address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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