Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a constant argument about whether being competitive in every aspect of our lives or being cooperative outweighs
one
another. Use synonyms
While
a competitive mind is necessary in certain scenarios, I believe that everyone should develop the ability to cooperate.
On the Linking Words
one
hand, people can benefit from a healthy rivalry as every competition sets up a clear goal for Use synonyms
one
to pursue. When a person achieves temporary success, it makes Use synonyms
one
more confident and determined to reach a higher level of success. During the competition, Use synonyms
one
could compare the advantages and disadvantages of the potential competitors and him/herself. An efficient system of self-management may be cultivated, which would become good habits throughout Use synonyms
one
’s entire life. Despite the fact that competition can fulfil self-improvement, it should be noticed that it is impossible to be a champion in every aspect of life and the will to succeed may Use synonyms
instead
turn into a poisonous mind which exhausts a person and ruins relationships with surrounding people.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, when we are actively collaborating with others, there is a large chance that we are motivated by other's distinguished ideas. These different views perhaps later become the source of innovations. It has been proven that the early success of Apple’s graphic user interface was inspired by a visit to Xerox’s tech lab. Linking Words
Moreover
, for individuals, collaboration creates a harmonic environment between co-workers, classmates or friends, which is better for people’s mental stability.
In conclusion, keeping an appropriate tense of competitive mind is beneficial, but learning to be cooperative will always boost us up and maintain a long-term progression.Linking Words
Submitted by micilan on
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task achievement
To further improve your essay, consider providing more specific examples and elaborate on them in more detail to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to address both views thoroughly and ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main thesis of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting ideas more fluidly from one paragraph to the next. This will help in enhancing the overall flow and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments well.
logical structure
The essay effectively breaks down both perspectives of the argument and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Apple and Xerox, to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.