IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some companies blocks their employees from using social media and web sites such as facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to blocks access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Companies
Use synonyms
 are delicate about the usage of social
media
Use synonyms
 by their employees.
While
Linking Words
 it is believed that
companies
Use synonyms
 should block access to social
media
Use synonyms
, I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain several reasons for that matter.
Firstly
Linking Words
, everyone has the right to
use
Use synonyms
 social
media
Use synonyms
 without restrictions,so it is against freedom if
companies
Use synonyms
 block to
use
Use synonyms
 of social
media
Use synonyms
 by their employees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I do not believe that there is a direct link between social
media
Use synonyms
 and working in a
company
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 overusing social
media
Use synonyms
 may affect their performance, it is not directly associated with social
media
Use synonyms
. It is all about personal awareness to
use
Use synonyms
 social
media
Use synonyms
 wisely.
For instance
Linking Words
, an employee may
use
Use synonyms
 social
media
Use synonyms
 to socialize and communicate and
also
Linking Words
 work well in his job.
Thus
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of blocking social
media
Use synonyms
,
companies
Use synonyms
 should trust and respect the rights of their
workers
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, despite blocking social
media
Use synonyms
, I would recommend making some restrictions on the usage of social
media
Use synonyms
. Any contradictions with the image of
companies
Use synonyms
 should be addressed, but not all social
media
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if an employee acts immorally behaviors in social
media
Use synonyms
 that hurts
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 prestige ,
then
Linking Words
 they have to remove him or her from the job. Inform
workers
Use synonyms
 about some policies of the
company
Use synonyms
 about social
media
Use synonyms
 would be better both for the
company
Use synonyms
's prestige and
workers
Use synonyms
' freedom. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea that
companies
Use synonyms
 should block to access certain websites and social
media
Use synonyms
 for their employees.
This
Linking Words
 is against freedom and privacy and
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 connected with the
overall
Linking Words
 performance
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 manage their usage wisely.
Instead
Linking Words
, making an agreement that preserves the
company
Use synonyms
's image and individual rights is vital.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt; however, it could benefit from more specific examples. General statements could be strengthened with concrete details or specific cases.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear thesis and logical structure, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to ensure a seamless flow between paragraphs.
general
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. Polishing these would make your ideas clearer and more compelling.
task achievement
Your stance on the topic is clear and well-explained. This clarity makes your argument compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.
task achievement
You offer valid points and arguments to support your opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: