IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe it is the responsibility of government to take care of the environment, others think people are responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that the protection of the environment is the duty of the citizens because they can influence other people and make their children have self-awareness, whilst others believe that the government has more tasks which can take care of it. I agree with the second group because the states have the power to reduce pollution and arrange classes for educating citizens.
Firstly
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, human beings are the fundamentals of a community.
Therefore
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, they should have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
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 to take care of their living areas by being a role model to each other, especially to their sons and daughters.
Additionally
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, they can share knowledge on how to reduce pollution through communication.
For example
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, recycling is not only the most beneficial act to pollute the habitat less but
also
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 the easiest that can be done by anyone including a child. At the same time, men and women can warn their neighbours to take a bus
instead
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 of using a private car.
Also
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, educating children starts in the family before they go to school.
On the other hand
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, the government has more important responsibilities to protect the environment
due to
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 their duty to decrease pollution and provide educational classes for the citizens.
For example
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, it is the duty of the state to build airports and factories outside the living area of a city.
Moreover
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, they should not touch the green areas and parks,
while
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 they build those structures.
Also
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, they have the responsibility to recycle items which are collected by the individuals.
Nevertheless
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, they should add some educational classes to the curriculum to teach how to be a responsible citizen. In conclusion, some people may think that it is the responsibility of the individuals to make their habitats healthier, whilst others think that the government is the one who should take care of it. In my opinion, the states have the most important part to protect the environment.

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coherence cohesion
While the essay's structure is clear and logical, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. This will improve the overall flow and coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are strong. However, make sure that each main point in the body paragraphs is backed by specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try integrating a mix of complex and compound sentences to show a range of grammatical structures.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both views and your opinion, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are relevant and effectively address the task prompt, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of language is generally clear and precise, making your arguments easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental policies
  • regulated emissions
  • green technologies
  • eco-friendly practices
  • recycling
  • energy consumption
  • sustainable products
  • collective impact
  • environmental consciousness
  • infrastructural development
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • conservation efforts
  • public-private partnership
  • sustainable development
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