It is important for everyone, including young people, to save their money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

We are living in a developed world with high material needs. Thereby, some
people
believe that saving
money
for the
future
is very necessary for all ages, including young inhabitants. In my view, I partly agree with
this
statement and in
this
essay, I will explain some reasons why I am partly with
this
statement. On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits when
people
save
money
for the
future
.
Firstly
, saving
money
from a young age will ensure long-term financial security. Unexpected expenses and emergencies can arise at any time in their life, so having financial savings can solve these problems easily.
In addition
, all services, goods and amenities are much more expensive than before. So saving
money
is very crucial for
people
to get anything easily.
Moreover
, saving
money
helps
people
have some essential skills
such
as discipline, independence, foresight and budgeting. When young
people
learn to manage their
money
effectively, they are more likely to make informed decisions about their spending and investments.
For example
, a teenager who saves a part of his allowance learns to budget for both immediate wants and
future
needs, creating a foundation for responsible financial behaviours.
On the other hand
, there are some issues that need attention. First of all, saving
money
can sometimes cause problems
due to
misunderstandings and mixed reactions about it. Some
people
cannot understand between saving
money
and stinginess, so they start saving too much
money
.
Therefore
, it can lead to a decrease in the quality of life of each individual.
For instance
, some inhabitants think that buying fresh food and using safety services is unnecessary and wasteful.
Additionally
, residents start buying food of unknown origin and using poor quality services at cheap prices which can cause a lot of ailments.
To sum up
,
although
I agree that saving
money
for the
future
is important for everyone, including young ages, they have to use their
money
for their own purposes and responsibility.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task response
The essay presents a clear position and addresses the task well, but it can be further improved by more completely addressing potential counterarguments or elaborating on points in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay's structure is logical and paragraphs are effectively organized, it could benefit from smoother transitions between some ideas to enhance cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly outline your position on the topic.
task response
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the teenager saving an allowance, which effectively support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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