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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 line chart illustrates the proportion of
indeviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
, who
contrebute
Correct your spelling
contribute
contributed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 four activities at
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 center in
melbuorne
Change the capitalization
Melbuorne
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia during twenty years.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown from the graph
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the Film club
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest activity,
while
Linking Words
 the musical performance
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the least, until the beginning of 2015, the
Amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 activity became the least among them.
According to
Linking Words
 the line chart,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first 4 years, both the table tennis and
Amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 activities witnessed an increase in the number of
participants
Use synonyms
, reaching approximately 20 and 29
participants
Use synonyms
, respectively in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Martial arts and Film club activities decreased. Music activity did not appear in the first 4 years.In 2010 both
Amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 and Table tennis met at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 rate by 20
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 Musical performance
also
Linking Words
 increased to around 10.The year 2010 was the
last
Linking Words
 year of decline for
Film
Correct article usage
the Film
show examples
 club
near
Change preposition
with
show examples
 by 60
participants
Use synonyms
. There was a sharp increase in Table tennis from 2010 to 2020 with 50
participants
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
Amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 sharply
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 5 person
Submitted by safaalhashmi031 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amateur, dramatics, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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