Wild animals have no use in the 21st century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many countries around the world are known for their wildlife. Countries like India, China, and Australia, are famous for wild
animals
such
as tigers, lions, anacondas, and wild pigs. It is disagreed that
money
spent on preserving these
animals
is a
waste
of financial resources. In
this
essay, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views.
Firstly
, wild
animals
can be a source of entertainment for the public.
For example
, people go to a circus to watch lions, tigers perform a variety of interesting acts, which brings joy to those who watch it. A circus makes it possible for many people, who can’t afford to travel abroad, to see these wild
animals
, which would have been impossible
otherwise
.
Hence
, it is not a
waste
of
money
to try to protect these
animals
from becoming extinct.
Secondly
, wild
animals
are a source of medicinal products.
For instance
, researchers have found that snake venom, in very small quantities, can be used to boost the body’s immune system.
This
increased or enhanced immunity can help the body fight against a multitude of diseases.
Therefore
, it is evident why it is beneficial to try to preserve wild
animals
.
Thirdly
, scientists have studied animal behaviour for many years in order to understand the similarities between humans and
animals
as well as
to understand the origins of life.
For example
, evolutionary scientists argue that humans and apes have a lot in common and that we might have evolved from apes. They obviously reached these conclusions after years of study on wild
animals
.
Consequently
, it is not a
waste
of
money
to try to maintain wildlife. In summary, after analyzing how
animals
can be used for entertainment purposes and scientific study, I firmly believe that
money
spent on trying to protect wild
animals
from extinction is not a
waste
. It is expected that the number of wild
animals
will continue to increase because governments have been fighting against the illegal hunting and killing of these
animals
for many years now.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear argument that preserving wild animals is not a waste of money. However, it would benefit from a stronger introduction that more clearly previews the main points and a more conclusive conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear logical flow. Your paragraphs are coherent and each supports your argument. However, the transition between points could be smoother to enhance overall cohesiveness. Work on linking words and phrases to improve the fluidity between paragraphs.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as the use of snake venom for medicinal purposes and the evolutionary studies involving apes.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph focused on a specific aspect of your argument.

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