Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the health care system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are potential reasons (is mean cause) for this, and what are some of the long-term effects.

Despite significant advancements in

healthcare

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systems across developed nations, there has been a noticeable decline in the

overall

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physical

health

Use synonyms

of their populations.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore the possible causes behind

this

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paradox and examine some of the long-term consequences. One of the main reasons for declining physical

health

Use synonyms

in developed countries is the widespread adoption of sedentary lifestyles.

Due to

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technological advancements, people now spend a large portion of their day sitting—whether working at desks, commuting, or using electronic devices at home.

This

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lack of physical activity reduces cardiovascular fitness and contributes to obesity, back problems, and poor posture.

For instance

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, many office workers remain seated for over eight hours a day, and rather than engaging in outdoor exercise, they often unwind by watching TV or scrolling through social media. A significant long-term effect of poor physical

health

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is the increasing pressure on public

healthcare

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systems. As more people suffer from chronic illnesses

such

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as diabetes, heart disease, and obesity-related conditions, hospitals and clinics become overwhelmed, leading to longer waiting times and higher medical costs.

For example

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, in countries like Australia , the National

Health

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Service Directory (NHSD) has seen a steady rise in admissions for preventable lifestyle-related diseases, which places a heavy financial burden on the system. To summarise,

although

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healthcare

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systems in developed countries have improved significantly,

however

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, inactivity and unhealthy lifestyles continue to undermine public

health

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. If these trends are not addressed, they may lead to severe consequences, including increased pressure on

healthcare

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services and a decline in

overall

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quality of life.

Therefore

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, it is essential for both individuals and governments to focus more on prevention and healthy living habits to reverse

this

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worrying trend.

sunnyrogle22Tue May 06 2025

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task and presents relevant arguments. However, consider expanding on the long-term consequences to enhance depth. For instance, discussing the impact on mental health or workforce productivity could provide a more comprehensive view.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main point. However, there is a minor inconsistency in your conclusion—using 'however' disrupts the flow. A smoother transition could improve the readability.

Task Achievement

You provide specific examples which strengthen your arguments, such as the reference to office workers and Australia’s healthcare system. To further enhance this aspect, consider including a counterargument or alternative perspective to show a wider understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay, and you present relevant main points in a logical manner throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Your use of specific, relatable examples, such as the lifestyle of office workers and the situation in Australia, effectively illustrate your arguments.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the health care system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are potential reasons (is mean cause) for this, and what are some of the long-term effects.

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work, such as teaching and building houses for communities in poorer countries. What are the reasons for this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?