You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
Somebody
Correct your spelling
Some
argued
that Wrong verb form
argue
in
nowadays Correct word choice
apply
become
old is worth thing. But, others Wrong verb form
becoming
says
that in modern Change the verb form
say
life
the eldest generation
have
everything for Change the verb form
has
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
life
than in previous centuries.
On the one hand, for older
Add an article
the older
generation
to live in our modern world is little
bit difficult. Because, our Add an article
a little
gradparent
Correct your spelling
grandparents
grandparent
had
not Verb problem
did
had
some technologies that we Wrong verb form
have
use
in our simple days, some of them Wrong verb form
used
do
not know how to use smartphones. Wrong verb form
did
In addition
, most of the grand people do not understand how to use social medias
, and they do not realize their functions. Correct your spelling
media
Also
, most of them moved to city
and do not have Add an article
the city
active
Correct article usage
an active
life
like in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
ages
.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
age
another
hand, in our days for older Correct quantifier usage
other
generation
monthly give money as a token of gratitude for theit
work in the past. Correct your spelling
their
the
In addition
, the government in Kazakhstan shares with
tickets for sanatoriums. They have Change preposition
apply
possibility
to go there get relaxed and Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
additionly
have some treatment. In the past, the Correct your spelling
additionally
most
majority of Correct quantifier usage
apply
eldest
Correct article usage
the eldest
generation
lived in villages and had to make all the product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
in
Change preposition
at
home
. It took a Add an article
the home
lot
hours and strength. But, now, they can allow Add the preposition
lot of
themselfs
to go to shops.
In my opinion, for everyone was Correct your spelling
themselves
the
hard time in the past; without all Change the article
a
technology
that we have now. So I think to live in our modern Correct article usage
the technology
life
is better for everyone, and the eldest generations are living theit
best Correct your spelling
the
life
. Most of them do not care about livestocks
and Correct your spelling
livestock
garden
. Just happy with their children and grandchildren. Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
Additionly
, can see all the parts of their country or all of the world, because now they have a lot of free time.
Correct your spelling
In addition
To sum up
, older
Add an article
the older
generation
have
some troubles with new technologies and with some new changes in centuries. By the way, they Change the verb form
has
also
can have good treatments and be health
for a long time.Replace the word
healthy
Submitted by IELTS nis
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, additional focus on elaborating your main points with more specific examples and supporting details would have strengthened your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically within each paragraph. Consider using more complex sentence structures and transitional phrases to better link ideas and create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively present the topic and provide a clear stance, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both viewpoints, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.