Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
The usage of gadgets
such
as laptops, tablets, and cell phones has become common among young ages
. While
some empathize that these devices
include benefits, I disagree with this
notion as the advantages cannot overwhelm the crucial drawbacks they include.
Electroic
Correct your spelling
Electronic
devices
could enhance language skills and expand technological proficiency. People could install applications where numerous users create educational videos for the world of children with diverse language services. For example
, the series “Jack’s Science Class” has been realesed
in over 20 languages for young generations around the world on Netflix and YouTube. Korean children could not only be exposed to not only Korean but Correct your spelling
released
realised
also
English by watching it in both two languages, improving their language skills without studying abroad or leassons
at an English academy.
Correct your spelling
lessons
However
, there is a notable drawback that cannot be ignored to be a member of the society. Our society is a series of community activities, which require communication with others. If people start to be eager to share ideas through a screen from earlier ages
, there is a possibility that their communication capability cannot be developed. Furthermore
, they may lessen the time to speak with friends or families face to face. As a result
, the rise of online usage on devices
could create barriers to conversations with a variety of words and appropriate body postures.
In conclusion, young generations have become familiar with using screens from earlier ages
. Even though it may be practical to expose them to several languages, it could threaten them to improve verbal skills that should be built up in childhood. Therefore
, young ages
should be allowed to take advantage of devices
appropriately.Submitted by ekgus2309 on
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complete response
Ensure that all ideas are clearly and fully developed. For example, consider providing more detailed explanations or further developing the paragraph on disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and correct any spelling or vocabulary errors (e.g., 'empathize' should be 'emphasize,' 'electroic' should be 'electronic,' 'realesed' should be 'released,' and 'leassons' should be 'lessons').
relevant specific examples
When discussing drawbacks, introduce more specific examples or data to support your argument. This will help improve the clarity and relevance of your ideas.
logical structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, providing a clear starting and ending point for the discussion.
supported main points
The main points in the essay are supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of the educational video series 'Jack’s Science Class'.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.