Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#children #devices #computers #tablet #phones #age #situation

The usage of gadgets

such

as laptops, tablets, and cell phones has become common among young

ages

While

some empathize that these

devices

include benefits, I disagree with

this

notion as the advantages cannot overwhelm the crucial drawbacks they include.

Electroic

Correct your spelling

Electronic

devices

could enhance language skills and expand technological proficiency. People could install applications where numerous users create educational videos for the world of children with diverse language services.

For example

, the series “Jack’s Science Class” has been

realesed

Correct your spelling

released

realised

in over 20 languages for young generations around the world on Netflix and YouTube. Korean children could not only be exposed to not only Korean but

also

English by watching it in both two languages, improving their language skills without studying abroad or

leassons

Correct your spelling

lessons

at an English academy.

However

, there is a notable drawback that cannot be ignored to be a member of the society. Our society is a series of community activities, which require communication with others. If people start to be eager to share ideas through a screen from earlier

ages

, there is a possibility that their communication capability cannot be developed.

Furthermore

, they may lessen the time to speak with friends or families face to face.

As a result

, the rise of online usage on

devices

could create barriers to conversations with a variety of words and appropriate body postures. In conclusion, young generations have become familiar with using screens from earlier

ages

. Even though it may be practical to expose them to several languages, it could threaten them to improve verbal skills that should be built up in childhood.

Therefore

, young

ages

should be allowed to take advantage of

devices

appropriately.

Submitted by ekgus2309 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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complete response

Ensure that all ideas are clearly and fully developed. For example, consider providing more detailed explanations or further developing the paragraph on disadvantages.

clear comprehensive ideas

Proofread for grammatical accuracy and correct any spelling or vocabulary errors (e.g., 'empathize' should be 'emphasize,' 'electroic' should be 'electronic,' 'realesed' should be 'released,' and 'leassons' should be 'lessons').

relevant specific examples

When discussing drawbacks, introduce more specific examples or data to support your argument. This will help improve the clarity and relevance of your ideas.

logical structure

The essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, providing a clear starting and ending point for the discussion.

supported main points

The main points in the essay are supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of the educational video series 'Jack’s Science Class'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.