Some people believe that goverment is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view.
Some individuals admitted that
organization
is wasting Correct article usage
the organization
money
on the art
and that this
amount could be use
anywhere else for the benefit of Change the verb form
be used
public
. I wholeheartedly agree with Add an article
the public
this
view. This
money
should be spent on transport
and cleanliness
of Correct article usage
the cleanliness
country
. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
Add an article
the country
To begin
with, authorities should spent
Change the verb form
spend
money
for the advantage of local people rather than spending money
on art
, which gives no benefit. Transport
plays a significant role in any nation. Thousands of people use public transport
daily to reach their destination
. Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
From
my view. facilities for Change preposition
In
public
should be the first priority of Add an article
the public
government
. In many countries, transportation is Add an article
the government
on
the top of the list for organizations. Change preposition
at
For example
, transportation for students in Finland is free. Additionally
, students can go anywhere free
by showing their student card. Change preposition
for free
This
method should be applied in every country
of the world.
Secondly
, art
gains no value, if the streets of the cities is
unpaved and dirty. It can be clearly seen that, nowadays government officials are neglecting Change the verb form
are
neatness
of Correct article usage
the neatness
city
. They spent millions on constructing museums, Correct article usage
the city
art
galleries etc to expand tourism in country
. Add an article
the country
For example
, Dubai is the most
cleanest Change the adjective
apply
country
in the world and because of cleanliness
, Correct pronoun usage
its cleanliness
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
a
Change the article
an
enoromous
amount of Correct your spelling
enormous
tourist
. Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
From
my opinion, if a tourist visits any Change preposition
In
country
, cleanliness
is the first thing they will notice rather than art
. For instance
, government
should take serious action on Add an article
the government
cleanliness
of the Add an article
the cleanliness
country
and giving
funds to cleaning centres, so that they can clean Wrong verb form
give
streets
daily.
In conclusion, spending Correct article usage
the streets
money
on transport
and cleanliness
of Correct article usage
the cleanliness
country
is far Correct article usage
the country
more
better, Change the word
apply
in contrast
to wasting money
on the
Correct article usage
apply
art
. As a result
, this
can benefit local citizens, students
and Correct word choice
and students
also
going to
attract Verb problem
apply
tourist
.Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
There are minor grammatical issues and some awkward phrasing that slightly affect readability. Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to minimize errors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your argumentation links back to your thesis statement at the beginning, making it clear how each point supports your overall viewpoint.
task achievement
Adding more in-depth examples or data to support your points could increase the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly responds to the task by addressing the allocation of government funds towards arts versus essential services like transport and cleanliness.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, supporting paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, such as the example of free transportation for students in Finland.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!