IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that goverment is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view.

#people #goverment #money #art
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Some individuals admitted that
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
show examples
 is wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on the
art
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 and that
this
Linking Words
 amount could
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
 anywhere else for the benefit of
public
Add an article
the public
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. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
This
Linking Words
money
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 should be spent on
transport
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 and
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cleanliness
Correct article usage
the cleanliness
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 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
To begin
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 with, authorities should
spent
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spend
show examples
money
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 for the advantage of local people rather than spending
money
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 on
art
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, which gives no benefit.
Transport
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 plays a significant role in any nation. Thousands of people use public
transport
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 daily to reach their
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my view. facilities for
public
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the public
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 should be the first priority of
government
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the government
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. In many countries, transportation is
on
Change preposition
at
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 the top of the list for organizations.
For example
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, transportation for students in Finland is free.
Additionally
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, students can go anywhere
free
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for free
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 by showing their student card.
This
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 method should be applied in every
country
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 of the world.
Secondly
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,
art
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 gains no value, if the streets of the cities
is
Change the verb form
are
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 unpaved and dirty. It can be clearly seen that, nowadays government officials are neglecting
neatness
Correct article usage
the neatness
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 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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. They spent millions on constructing museums,
art
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 galleries etc to expand tourism in
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Dubai is the
most
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apply
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cleanest
country
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 in the world and because of
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cleanliness
Correct pronoun usage
its cleanliness
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
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a
Change the article
an
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enoromous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 amount of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, if a tourist visits any
country
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,
cleanliness
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 is the first thing they will notice rather than
art
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should take serious action on
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cleanliness
Add an article
the cleanliness
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 of the
country
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 and
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 funds to cleaning centres, so that they can clean
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
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 daily. In conclusion, spending
money
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 on
transport
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
cleanliness
Correct article usage
the cleanliness
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 is far
more
Change the word
apply
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better,
in contrast
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 to wasting
money
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
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.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 can benefit local citizens,
students
Correct word choice
and students
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
going to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
.
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grammar
There are minor grammatical issues and some awkward phrasing that slightly affect readability. Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to minimize errors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your argumentation links back to your thesis statement at the beginning, making it clear how each point supports your overall viewpoint.
task achievement
Adding more in-depth examples or data to support your points could increase the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly responds to the task by addressing the allocation of government funds towards arts versus essential services like transport and cleanliness.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, supporting paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, such as the example of free transportation for students in Finland.
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