Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Nowdays
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Nowadays
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young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
are
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is
show examples
developing
by
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with
show examples
physical technology
likewise
laptop,
cellphone
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cellphones
show examples
.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, children are used to using them early. There are some beneficial and harmful sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
knowledge. Today's minors are
strarting
Correct your spelling
starting
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
electronic devices from
kidengarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
.
Thus
gives opportunity to be
Correct quantifier usage
more progresive
show examples
progresive
Correct your spelling
progressive
than their
gardiens
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gardens
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their age.
Therfore
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Therefore
,
by
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apply
show examples
social
medias
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media
show examples
such
as "YouTube Kids", force them
develop
Add the particle
to develop
show examples
in
Correct article usage
a playfull
show examples
playfull
Correct your spelling
playful
form. Learning colours, alphabet,
numbers
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and numbers
show examples
could be
for
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apply
show examples
children engrossing process in their childhood. Is significant to know, how to use technology to
achive
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achieve
your goal.
Development
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The development
show examples
of imagination could be
result
Add an article
the result
a result
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of various content that
child
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children
show examples
have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
.
Be
Wrong verb form
Being
show examples
against from advenst technology
have
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has
show examples
consequences, after
all
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all,
show examples
it could be hard to find a friend with similar ideas and interests.
On the other hand
, some parents
occasianally
Correct your spelling
occasionally
gives
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give
show examples
for their
child
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
for a reason. Short videos
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
brief time remember, which for all ages
produse
Correct your spelling
produce
gigantic to tall apart and inattentive.
Proces
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Processes
show examples
of growth have to be as much as parents can avoid
Add an article
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
from cartoons or
vieos
Correct your spelling
videos
. Probably,
this
type of
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
do
Verb problem
makes
show examples
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
lazier. 
Environment
Add an article
The environment
show examples
is the best
variat
Correct your spelling
variant
to learn,
get
Correct word choice
and get
show examples
the experience for
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
generation. From
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
experience I can
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
be more outside and get
Change preposition
in conntact
show examples
conntact
Correct your spelling
contact
for
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
with neighbours or classmets.
To conclude
, is parent
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
choose
how to develop their
child
. They have to consider both sides, as now
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
against
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computers can be
criticaze
Correct your spelling
criticised
by
others society
Fix the agreement mistake
other societies
show examples
.
Submitted by ikovalchuk3107 on

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general
Try to proofread your essay to avoid basic grammatical and spelling errors, as they can detract from the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Develop each main point more fully by giving specific, detailed examples. For instance, elaborate on how electronic devices can aid in children's learning or hinder their attention span.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next. For instance, use transitional phrases and sentences to link your points more clearly and coherently.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of children using electronic devices from a young age, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a conclusion, which helps to wrap up the discussion neatly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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