Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sports #players #salary #peopleand #societies #occupations #doctors #teachers #soldiers

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Professional

athletes

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salaries

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are sometimes argued in terms of their amount; it is said to be too high, despite their perceived lack of direct social contributions compared to

professions

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like doctors and teachers. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion from the perspective of the social function of

sports

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and the length of their professional period.

To begin

Linking Words

with, compared to other occupation's

salaries

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, it is true that the salary of professional

sports

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players

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is apparently much higher than that of other jobs, especially in popular

sports

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such

Linking Words

as football and baseball. Despite the high financial rewards, many view

sports

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as merely recreational, lacking the serious social impact of other

professions

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. And

thus

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, some people might have a sense of disparity in

this

Linking Words

gap between

athletes

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and other workers.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, from some aspects, their

salaries

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can be said to be proper. Considering their contributions to society,

athletes

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also

Linking Words

provide significant social benefits through their influence on national pride,

international

Correct word choice

and international

show examples

unity, and by serving as role models for young people.

Sports

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players

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have empowered people globally, even though these watchers do not play

sports

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. From other aspects, their paid period is often shorter than other occupations, even though they have to maintain their physical and mental strength 24/7 as part of their

professions

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. If when the player were to be injured or just get older, they might lose their means of livelihood. In conclusion, despite the significant salary gap between the

salaries

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sports

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players

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and other occupations, considering the role of

sports

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in the modern era,

athletes

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make significant contributions to society, in a different way from other traditional

professions

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Moreover

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, the period

athletes

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can earn is shorter than others.

Therefore

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, I believe that

sports

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players

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are paid proper wages.

Submitted by am on Thu Sep 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing the main points of discussion effectively. To enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments, such as statistics or anecdotes about professional athletes' contributions to society.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point related to the main argument, which makes the content easy to follow. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas between paragraphs smoothly (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'On the other hand').

task achievement

Your introduction is clear and sets up the main argument effectively, providing a good foundation for the essay.

task achievement

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a sense of closure.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with each paragraph supporting a specific point related to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

justified
revenue
generate
advertisers
career span
compensation
entertainment
social cohesion
national pride
market dynamics
demand for skills
perceived societal value
inspire
engage
pursue
economic principles
essential services
salary structures
occupations
disparity

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Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

As countries develop, many people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

In the modern society, young people have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30's or even early 40's. This essay shall deal with the reasons for this phenomenon and the effects this has on the families and societies.