In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, online shopping has increased significantly in many parts of the world and tends to replace offline

stores

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. Some argue that

this

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trend poses advantages,

such

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as expanding the target market and introducing new

brands

Use synonyms

via social media platforms.

However

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, others believe that

this

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phenomenon has

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

effects, particularly for older citizens and for traditional

markets

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss these two perspectives and my own opinion. On the one hand, there are benefits of online shopping.

Firstly

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, I could help entrepreneurs to expand their

business

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In other words

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business

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people would have the possibility to gain revenue on online marketplaces.

McDonald

Change noun form

McDonald's

show examples

is an excellent example of

this

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. Previously,

this

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business

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relied its selling in an offline setting, meaning that their revenue depended merely on how many buyers visited their

stores

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such

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as in malls or department

stores

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. Now, after utilizing online platforms,

this

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business

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can earn double in terms of revenue. Another advantage is that the Internet plays a significant role in promoting new

brands

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, particularly for small and medium enterprises. In Indonesia,

for instance

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, there are many online businesses that run based on the internet. Some new

brands

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such

Linking Words

as Olive Chicken, becoming popular among urban dwellers

due to

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their promotion on social media sites.

Therefore

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, the positive impacts of online shopping are proven.

On the other hand

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, the drawbacks of online shopping are undeniable.

This

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means that many individuals, especially the older generation, tend to be frustrated since they cannot adapt to new technologies.

Consequently

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, they may not earn money as much as they used to. For those who are sellers in the traditional market.

Due to

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the fact that vegetable businesses

also

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exist on the Internet, many traditional

markets

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experienced a reduction in their buyers because many of them prefer buying items in online vegetable

stores

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. It

also

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happens in malls where now their visitors are not as many as in the past.

Hence

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, online shopping clearly poses disadvantages both for people and sellers, especially in traditional

markets

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. In conclusion, shopping online has merits

such

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as expanding the

business

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market and introducing new

brands

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This

Linking Words

trend

also

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has negative effects

such

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as for people who are unfamiliar with gadgets and for sellers in traditional

markets

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. In my opinion, offline

stores

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should have to adapt and adopt new technologies if they do not want to fall behind.

salwafahanim

Sep 5, 2024

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task achievement

Consider refining explanations to avoid repetition and to add more depth. For instance, clearly state how older generations might adapt or what specific measures can be taken to support them.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly. For instance, use linking words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'In addition' to connect ideas.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views comprehensively and presents a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is maintained throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

390 words

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In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggestion least one possible solution.

Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possessions. How far do you agree with this statement?

#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

More and more people suffer from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated by modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine is warranted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages.Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.