In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, online shopping has increased significantly in many parts of the world and tends to replace offline
stores
. Some argue that this
trend poses advantages, such
as expanding the target market and introducing new brands
via social media platforms. However
, others believe that this
phenomenon has negative
effects, particularly for older citizens and for traditional Correct article usage
a negative
markets
. This
essay will discuss these two perspectives and my own opinion.
On the one hand, there are benefits of online shopping. Firstly
, I could help entrepreneurs to expand their business
. In other words
, business
people would have the possibility to gain revenue on online marketplaces. McDonald
is an excellent example of Change noun form
McDonald's
this
. Previously, this
business
relied its selling in an offline setting, meaning that their revenue depended merely on how many buyers visited their stores
such
as in malls or department stores
. Now, after utilizing online platforms, this
business
can earn double in terms of revenue. Another advantage is that the Internet plays a significant role in promoting new brands
, particularly for small and medium enterprises. In Indonesia, for instance
, there are many online businesses that run based on the internet. Some new brands
, such
as Olive Chicken, becoming popular among urban dwellers due to
their promotion on social media sites. Therefore
, the positive impacts of online shopping are proven.
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of online shopping are undeniable. This
means that many individuals, especially the older generation, tend to be frustrated since they cannot adapt to new technologies. Consequently
, they may not earn money as much as they used to. For those who are sellers in the traditional market. Due to
the fact that vegetable businesses also
exist on the Internet, many traditional markets
experienced a reduction in their buyers because many of them prefer buying items in online vegetable stores
. It also
happens in malls where now their visitors are not as many as in the past. Hence
, online shopping clearly poses disadvantages both for people and sellers, especially in traditional markets
.
In conclusion, shopping online has merits such
as expanding the business
market and introducing new brands
. This
trend also
has negative effects such
as for people who are unfamiliar with gadgets and for sellers in traditional markets
. In my opinion, offline stores
should have to adapt and adopt new technologies if they do not want to fall behind.Submitted by salwafahanim on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider refining explanations to avoid repetition and to add more depth. For instance, clearly state how older generations might adapt or what specific measures can be taken to support them.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly. For instance, use linking words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'In addition' to connect ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views comprehensively and presents a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is maintained throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?